February 27, 2007

Muahaha! Being Right feels good. It does. Admit it

Another from the Best of CL

Bicycle Avenger- Hit&Run Drivers BEWARE!

Date: 2005-05-01, 10:50AM PDT

So the other day I am riding my bike down Valencia Street (don't so many aventures start this way...) and I see a nicely dressed middle aged Asian guy (lets call him Steve) get hit by a young, rather blank expressioned white lady driving an old beat up white toyota 2 door of some sort (lets name her Gretchen, I hate that name). She ran right into him as he was walking across the street in front of lost weekend video! I was all, "dude that sucks, whatever..." until I saw them talking, and Gretchen totally tries to screech away. Steve totally jumps in front of her car and is fuckin' fuming, banging on her hood and yelling "STOP STOP STOP", because she should totally get out, apologize, offer him her insurance information and so on. I am sure Steve was a nice guy, and wouldn't have sued, had she been reasonable and apologized, assuming he wasn't hurt, which based on his spazzing up and down all over her hood, he was not. END DIGRESSION:

So after Steve banging on her hood a bit, Gretchen totally tries to mow him down, with a swerve type manuever, then bangs a screeching (old crappy car, parts falling off) right turn on 22nd street. I saw the whole thing and its a clear case of right and wrong, so I spring into superhero mode.

Okay, I am not johnny do-gooder or anything, I ride critical mass, I fucking throw conceptual molitov coctails at the establishment, I piss on capitalism, I would never work (and never have) or a corporation, and I am a big advocate for a just, sacred and sustainable world. But, I consider myself to be chaotic good meaning I don't obey laws because of blind obedience, I only obey laws I agree with, because I happen to think I am a more moral person than most people who make laws. If the laws are wrong, fuck em. But when a law happens to agree with what I beleive true justice to be, I use the cops as a tool to make the world more like what I think it should be. That being said, I put in my hands-free headset on my cellphone and took after that crotchety bitch like a Golden Gate bike cop. I was on the phone with dispatch, but I was put on hold, and I didn't have her plate number.

She was driving around blocks, making short turns, weaving in and out of traffic, but I happen to know that a car goes just about as fast as a bike in this city, due to the timing of the traffic lights and all that. I drive a cab, and all day I see cyclists ripping past me, because they don't have to stop for lights, unless a cop is there. The whole time I am chasing her, I am going, don't go up hill, don't go up hill, but she hits all the major ones;

22nd and Guerrero to Church Street, up "hill" street, down towards Dolores park, up church towards market... UGHH!! I finally catch up to her at church and market because of the long light, and get her plate number, call the cops, and make sure they attach it to the right file on their computer. It was confirmed that there was a hit&run reported at that location, and that no one had gotten a liscense plate for the criminal. I did good, it is one of those rare times in which you are positive that you helped someone and that good triumphed over evil.

MORAL: There are too many hit and runs in San Francisco. I see it all the time driving a cab. I was hit by a drunk driver on my motorcycle, and she tried to get away, but her dumbass was in neutral when she slammed on the gas. I ran up to her shouting her liscense plate number, and only THEN did she get out and start pouring on the fake sympathy. I sued her ass off.


-Concerned Citizen

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