May 25, 2010

The Book of Jengasis

Email me if you would like to add and contribute:

Chapter 1
1. First there was nothing in the world and all was silent.
2. Then the hands of the creators descended from their realm.
3. They created a planet, and it was good.
4. The second day, they made the oceans and mountains and it was good.
5. The third day, they created trees and plants and all things living, and it was good.
6. The fourth day, they created man and he was good.
7. The fifth day, they created woman and she was good.
8. The sixth day, they created blocks, and a whole lot of them, and it was good.
9. On the seventh day, they sat, rested and it was good.
10. For the first time, the creator hands spoke to man and woman.
11. Thou shalt work and study like people
12. On the sabbath, thou shalt build a tower
13. And three blocks wid it shalt be and as high as the top of the trees
14. Once thy tower is complete, thou shalt enjoy it and play with it
15. And with that, the hands disappeared from sight.
16. The next day, man took on a name of Robert and it was good.
17. Woman also took a name and she was Sharon and it was good.
18. They lived in a beautiful garden paradise named Weeden.
19. The hands came down and forth again.
20. Thou shalt not touch the forbidden pomplemousse tree of Parcheesi
21. If thou does thoucheth iteth, thou willeth suffereth a stormeth of diceth.
22. After saying that, the great hands disappeared from sight.
23. They lived peacibly in the garden for a year and a half and never were angry.
24. One day, the serpent of temptation and discounts bit a thron and his tongue was forever forked
25. The serpent hissed at Sharon, hypnotizing her with the movements of his forked tongue.
26. "Thou shalt eat from the forbidden tree of Parcheesi, and thou shalt save 50% on all purchases over 20 dollars at the Pick and Pay."
27. Compelled by some unseen force, Sharon reached for the forbidden pomplemousse tree of Parcheesi.
28. Sharon did touch a pomplemousse, and her hand shriveled up and fell off.
29. The great hand of the creator came down and flicked Sharon and Robert out of the Garden of Weeden and were forever more banished.
30. Robert was still physically whole, having borne of sound mind and body.
31. But Sharon, disfigured and deformed was a gimp and an outcast of degenerate proportions
32. And they had nothing buch each other and ark loads of blocks. Sharon and Robert commenced to build towers, and they called this Jenga.
33. Sharon and Robert began removing blocks from the tower, symbolizing their removal from Weeden.
34. They then replaced the blocks on top of the tower to represent their new beginnings upon the worldly world of earth, and the more they built, the less stable it became.
35. Mary did move the blocks with much difficulty using her only hand.
36. In the equity of spirit, and in fairness of play, Robert did vow never to use his two blessed hands in the worship.
37. And that was how it came to be, that forever the revelers of Jenga, used but one hand to move the good blocks.

Chapter 2.
1. Although gone from Weedon, Robert and Sharon did liveth out the good life on the land that the great hands had created.
2. Although a gimp, Sharon begat two children, and they were raised well by the hardy spirit of Robert.
3. They were known to the worldly world as Drain and Unable, born and raiseth under the shade of a Pomplemousse tree.
4. They still lived the good life the great hands had laid out and their parents had raiseth them to accept.
5. At the begatting ceremony, one was destined for evil (like in all good books, movies and plays.)
6. While playing in the garden, Unable had wandered into the house, for want of lunchables and other play time snacks.
7. Pissed with lower than average performance reviews, the hands of creation had flicked the serpent out of weedon.
8. As it flew, it came upon the outside of the door of Robert and Sharon's modest two storey, three bedroom, two and a half bath with full kitchen and utilities house and worked its wayeth into the back enclosed garden.
9. The serpent slithered between the collard greens, tomatoes, beans, potatoes, onions, corn, heather, thyme, rosemary, dill, rhododendrons, cauliflowers, broccoli, spinach, celery, cabbage and lettuce.
10. The serpent of evil, commencedeth to wrapeth himselfeth around the baby Drain and commenced with its hypnotism of evil and half off deals.
11. "Baby Drain, thou shalt become the evil one in the family, thou shalt strayeth from the flock, and leadeth your people naught from pure and Jenga, but to the rotted flesh and general nastyness of Parcheesi."
12. "But why does thou want me to do so? Are my mother and father of great moral and mortal goodness? It is not the way of Jenga and I cannot follow that which topples the tower."
13. Then, the serpent replied to baby Drain and lieth to him, so boldly and with such great audacity, that the forces of destruction could have taken Drain instantly.
14. "You see young child, I have been around since the third days of creation, I came, I saw, and I really took advantage of some bargain fruit.
15. I saw the land emerge, I saw it rise from the ground and I witnessed the adoration of mankind and I can tell, just by the geomorphology and the shape of the worldly world, that it was destined to be that for Parcheesi and other dice related games."
16. Drain only could look on and reply "I shalt not have no doings against my mother and father, it shalt not shat upon the golden face of Jenga."
17. The serpent began to move its tongue about and baby Drain was led unto the dice cup of temptation and was forever transfixed in neutral until the age of 18 to suddenly embrace that which is not Jenga.
18. The serpent was clever in his wily ways, and made Drain that which is not Jenga only come out as an angsty teenager going through senior drama.
19. A great number of years had passed without event or change. Other than Sharon's missing hand growing back but only to the size of a small key lime.
20. It was seventeen years, to the date, and upon the kindly countenance of the young, pimply and angsty Drain, did the evil behest itself upon his behavior.
21. Drain snucketh into the kitchen's pantry and stole from his mother and father. He took the bread to last him, the water to sustain him, and his father's playboys to entertain him.
22. Under the cool darkness of night, then upon an escape did Drain make the leave from home for the time.
23. Drain walked for many days, seven days and nights to be exact, and soon upon the morn of the eighth day, did he finish the last of the sustenance, and could no longer open the playboys from being cemented together.
24. He collapsed onto the cold desert sands and before him, a light doth appeared.
25. There before him, just slightly to the left of where he lay sprung forth, growing at an accelerated rate, a gleaming pomplemousse tree, filled with Parcheesis.
26. Drain took what he could, and walked further yet, and came upon a settlement of people, these were those who had been expelled from the garden of Opoloy for cheating as banker.
27. Drain embraced these peoples, and they all embraced Parcheesi, and yet, Drain felt still a heavy burning in his heart.
28. Drain then took an antacid tablet.
29. Robert did feel the evil of Parcheesi grab at him and cut of his left in penitence for Jenga.

Chapter 3 (incomplete)
1. Many years had passed since the vow of penitence for Jenga did Robert take.
2. Robert and Sharon worked hard to till the land, and with enough begatting, they established a long standing community to build temples, shrines and two public libraries with a magazine section.
3. Man had spread himself to the far reaching corners of the earth, spreading the words of their gods as interpreted in their own ways.
4. The great creator, curious as to how his science project was going, came forth upon the people at midnight in their time zones to check how progress was going.
5. "Doth thou all respect and honor me?"
6. "Yes."
7. "Doth thou all respect and honor me with celebration?"
8. "Yes."
9. "Doth thou all respect and honor me with celebration by doing the old, you know, custom?"
10. "Yes."
11. "Doth thou all respect and honor me with celebration by doing the old, you know, custom of Jenga?"
12. And upon the utterance of Jenga, did several people look ashamed, bashful and confused. The creator looked unto these people and gave them the stink eye.
13. "What hath thou been doing with thy free time then?"
14. "Parcheesi"

Angsty High School Poetry - Part II

I read this one, and I rather liked it.

The church rings,
A clattering stone.
A drunk pair of lovers,
see themselves as lovers,
streaked across the inky sky.
Yet the approaching officer,
sees only but two drunkards,
strewn across the filthy street.

A rousal, they wake.
No longer does their classical life exist.
Cats and dogs holler
like the belching of an uncle
the cries of a woman
fighting over a fish head
pierce the soft underbelly
of the morning calm.

The lovers sit,
covered in filth.
Wondering, whether or not,
if when they drank,
truly were they with the gods.

November 26th, 2006

Angsty High School Poetry - Part I

I found a bunch of poems from my high school days when I was still dating Kim, and god were my poems and handwriting total shit.

Love, oh how she exists
In many way a shape or form
Like young lovers sitting
below the sading palmettos
under a rose red sky.
Or like the quiet carousel
standing silently in the park
once loved by all
and now,
paint peeling from the noses,
falled in flakes like show.
Or maybe like two ancient
gnarled trees
whose limbs grow knobbly
and old like the knuckles
of grandfather's hand
Althought weathered,
by time and the elements
but branches still embrace entangled
underneath the vast cloud of night.
What love may be,
I see it everywhere.
In life, in mind
and in you.

June 21st, 2006

May 12, 2010

Windmills of your Mind

Round, like a circle in a spiral,
like a wheel within a wheel

Never ending or beginning
on an ever spinning reel
Like a snowball down a mountain
or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning,
running rings around the moon
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
past the minutes of its face
And the world is like an apple
whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
in the windmills of your mind

Like a tunnel that you follow
to a tunnel of its own

Down a hollow to a cavern
where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving
in a half-forgotten dream
Or the ripples from a pebble
someone tosses in a stream
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
past the minutes of its face
And the world is like an apple
whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
in the windmills of your mind

Keys that jingle in your pocket,
words that jangle in your head
Why did summer go so quickly?
Was it something that you said?
Lovers walk along the shore
and leave their footprints in the sand
Is the sound of distant drumming
just the fingers of your hand?
Pictures hanging in a hallway
and the fragment of a song
Half-remembered names and faces,
but to whom do they belong?
When you knew that it was over,
you were suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
to the colour of her hair

A circle in a spiral,
a wheel within a wheel

Never ending or beginning
on an ever spinning reel
As the images unwind,
like the circles that you find
in the windmills of your mind

May 11, 2010

Celebrating the great life of George W. Beckham Jr.

George William Beckam, Jr. May 10, 1921 - Mar. 11, 2010 Resident of Alameda George William Beckam, Jr. died peacefully on March 11, 2010 in Alameda. Mr. Beckam attended Fremont High school in Oakland and then the University of California at Berkeley, where he met his wife of 67 years, Virginia Arnold Lee. At UC Berkeley, he jointed the ROTC. He then interrupted his studies to enlist in the Army and was sent to Officer Training School. After his own training, he trained troops at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri before becoming the Post Engineer at Henry Barracks in Puerto Rico. He retired as Lieutenant Colonel from the Army Reserve where he was in charge of mobilization of the Western States in case of enemy attack on the mainland. At the conclusion of the war Mr. Beckam returned to UC Berkeley and completed a Bachelor of Science Degree in Civil Engineering while he worked full time. He was later hired by Alameda County as Traffic Engineer. He worked twenty years for the county before becoming a consultant to Highway safety projects around the state. He became California's first licensed Traffic Engineer (license No. 00001). He also wrote the protocols, interviewed applicants and made recommendations as to who was qualified to become a licensed Traffic Engineer. Mr. Beckam's expertise in the field of traffic was the basis of his successful bid for Alameda City Council. He served two terms, one as vice mayor. He was a major contributor in helping to pass measure A and greatly limit the density at Harbor Bay development and protect the quality of life in Alameda. George and Virginia were avid bridge players. As well, they shared a love of history and travel and wanted to see where history had happened and was happening. During their marriage, they visited most of the European, many of the South AMerican and African countries and the USA. They have been on most of the major rivers in the world. George also enjoyed the arts. For several years he and his family were involved with the Oakland Metropolitan Ballet Company where they enjoyed being stage manager and helped to produce ballet performances. His favorite was the Nutcracker Suite. George was preceded in death by his parents George and Francis Beckham and his brother Harold Beckam. He will be greatly missed by his wife Virginia Lee Beckam and his four children, Sydney Howard (Bob), George W. Beckam III, Karen Petersen (George), and Katherine Cato (Adam). He also leaves 9 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren, his sister-in-law Helen Beckam and nephew David Beckam. There will be Memorial service to celebrate his life on Saturday, April 10, 2010, 1:00 pm, at Greer Family Mortuary, 2694 Blanding Ave., Alameda, CA. Greer Family Mortuary

May 07, 2010

Something's Missing

I've got two wheels on my tricycle
and four toes on each foot
I've got six days in my week
and up with this I will not put
I'm a bath without a plug
and I'm a handle with no jug
I'm a kiss without a hug unless you're near me
I've got three strings on my violin
and I'm an only twin
Something's missing, something's missing, something's __-__-ing

Well, my cat has only got eight lives,
he chases two blind mice
On my birthday, when I get three cheers,
they only cheer me twice
I'm an oil well with no oil
and I'm a plant that has no soil
I'm a kettle that won't boil unless you're near me
Two and two make three when I add;
you're an orphan, says my dad
Something's missing, something's missing, something's __-__-ing

But, whenever you come close to me,
my life is all complete
No longer do I have four toes,
no longer two left feet
I'm a playground full of swings
and I'm an eagle with his wings
I'm a nightingale that sings because you're near me
Now, my love, I beg you stay 'cause,
when you stay, then I can say
Nothing's missing, nothing's missing, nothing's mi ... ... ssing

May 06, 2010

Street Signs Part Deux

A sequel for a story writ two years ago...

I shuddered as a breeze caught around my ankles. Denise had left me after all, after that "hell" I went through when she had that family emergency. I still lived with Dwight, although he somewhat simmered down from the boiling hot lothario he was two years ago. The two of us moved out of our old place on Mason street and found a nice, decent double loft in the industrial part of the city. I was no longer studying at the university but I was working as a technician for the labs in the forestry department. When I say technician, I really mean something more like... well... the guy behind the counter at the dispensary for lab equipment. But I do know how to work all the stuff, and service it. Mostly since it was equipment from the 1930s.

I didn't care that I was single, I changed for a new lifestyle. Dwight had become a graduate student and was working as a TA earning a bit of money and I was pulling my part. Our place became a pretty chic place, like you know, those fancy looking apartments you see on television. We had a flat screen, and Barcelona chairs and big glass topped counters. To be fair, the flat screen is 24 inches and the reason we have so much modern furniture was because the guy who lived across the hall ran a furniture warehouse and couldn't move the damn things so he gave them to us. Pretty sick bachelor pad if I must say. Our double loft is a bit of an anomalie because there's two separate lofts. One over the entrance and one over the living space. It works, there's still tons of light and all, just less privacy. I can be in bed and sit up and then see the big D riding on some girl he met. Lately, it has been the same girl. I think he's finally settling down for a change. But every night those two were together, I wanted it just as much, so badly.

Mason st. and Delaware avenue

My old apartment was on my normal bike ride to work at the College of Forestry. Every morning, I'd pass by it and ring the bell on my road bike just to say hello to my old windows and front door. Sometimes, i'd check the mailbox to see if I still had any mail being sent there. I got most of it by then, but occasionally, a misinformed relative will send a check there and whoever moved in just leaves my mail in the box still.

On that morning, I did my usual routine, rode past it, and rung the bell. Suddenly, I heard the shuck of a window and I looked up to see a round tan face looking back at me. From my own old apartment for that matter. I was enthralled for a moment as her straight, blond hair drooped over her bare shoulders covered only by the straps of a worn looking undershirt. I forgot I was on my bicycle. Someone had opened the door of their car right in front of me and well, I went sailing for a brief second. I did a sort of half barrel roll over the handle bars and laid there on the street for a moment. The offending vehicle had closed the door and pulled away quickly, running over my bike in the process. She saw this and her head ducked out the window.

I dont know for how long I laid in the street but when I came to, my head was cradled in her arms and resting on her knees on the sidewalk. Up close, her face was sweet, and her eyes were greenish blue. If I didn't have to get to work, I could have laid there for a while longer. I staggered to my feet and she looked at me in surprise.

"I... I got to get to work..."
"Are you all right? You took a nasty hit and that person just kinda ran off."
"Where... where's my bike?"
"Well, you cant really ride it. It got run over."
"What? Lucy Bell? Run over?"
"That's a cute name for a bike."

I started to cry a little. She pointed to the wreckage of my bicycle leaning against the wall of my old building. The handle bars were bent, the frame wrecked and both wheels busted up pretty badly. The only thing that survived was the pannier rack on the back, the bell and my Brooks saddle.

"Why don't you come inside for a moment. You can use the telephone here to call your work place."
"Uh.. S-sure."

She was petite but she was strong enough to support me up the staircase. She kicked open the door to her place and placed me in a chair in the living room. I thought to myself, this used to be my living room... I looked around me, the place was rather bare. There was a simple scrubbed table on one side of the dining area, a couple Ikeaish chairs, a forlorn looking saggy couch and a few prints framed on the walls.

"My name's Samantha. Everyone calls me Sam."
"Well, my name's Rafe."
"Just want to know. Is it with an ie or a... hah. Oops."
"Easy mistake. It's fine. The telephone?"
"Ah, nearly forgot."

She walked over to the kitchen counter and picked up a black cordless phone and handed it to me. I called in my office, saying I wouldn't be in today since I was in an accident, etc. etc. As I spoke with my boss, I watched her walk around the apartment doing her things. She walked into her room and emerged wearing a sweatshirt with the letters Alpha Nu on the front. My mind raced a little.

"Cool. How're you feeling now?"
"A bit better. Say, can I ask you something sort of personal."
"That depends on what you're trying to find out."
"Do you buy groceries at Boles' Green Grocers?"
"Yeah, I do actually."
"Do you recall bumping into someone and slapping him there?"
"Slapping... let me think. Yeah, there was this perv there. Said he was reading the words on my ass and thinking of the Dean or something. I told him I was kinky and... oh my god. That's you. Like... how are you!"
"Fine thanks."
"Look, I didn't mean it when I said perv or anything. It's just, it's been pretty hard lately. I was dating some douche bag who wanted me to spray tan myself orange and he dumped me for some floozie at Chi O and I dont know why I'm telling you all this."
"I dont either. What are you doing here?"
"Well, I moved in here when the place came up. I graduated and needed a place to live since I started work for the admissions office."
"Believe it or not, this is my old place."
"That's like some sort of crazy coincidence."
"Sorry for kinda standing you up the last time we met."
"Well, I did come on to you a bit forward."
"I suppose. You're not dating this uh.. D bag still are you?"
"No. Single as a nun."
"Ahh. Well.."
"You're asking me out aren't you?"
"My answer to you is yes."
"You're not still kinky are you?"
"You have yet to see my good sir."
"Uh. Great. Pick you up at eight?"
"On what? Your Lucy Bell is reduced to a bike seat."
"Saddle. Bike saddle."
"Fine fine. But what do you intend to do?"
"Well, you have yet to see my good lady."

We exchanged numbers and parted ways. I took the remnants of my bike out of the lobby and carried them back to the loft. When I got back, Dwight looked at me and sprayed his drink all over the table.

"What the fuck dude? What happened to you?"
"It's a long story. But in the end, I got a date."
"What? No way. How long has it been since your dick's seen another woman's bits?"
"Not that long. Sheesh. It's been what? Seven months."
"Seven months! Oh my god. I'm surprised your balls haven't exploded unless you've been whacking off constantly since that Denise witch dumped you."
"I'll appreciate it if you dont call her a witch. Denise and I are still friends."
"Yeah look. I'm friends with my grandma. But I dont think about her like the way you think about Denise."
"Look, your grandmother..."
"Aww dude. I cant eat now. I'm thinking about my grandma in bad ways. Fuck."
"Dwight. You're sick."
"You're sick man. You're the one with the date now. The girl I've been bringing around, she says she wants to move some things in. Shit dude. What am I gonna do?"
"Fine with me."
"No. Not fine with you. You should be virulently opposed and get in her face."
"You dont know her name do you?"
"No fucking idea."
"Right. Well, we'll work on that. Not even a first name."
"Abby or Edie or Babby something with an ee sounding name."
"I dated a girl by the name of Babbi all right?"
"Back at the old place. The one I brought back a second time and never after."
"That was Bambi. We talked a little."
"Woah, total brain fuck right there man."
"Right. I'll help you figure out your girl's name for you if you help me."
"With what?"
"I need your truck for tonight."
"Fine. Take care of her. She needs a bit of gas."
"Fine by me."

Dwight's pickup rumbled to life as I put the keys in, and shifted it into gear. I loved driving, it's a warm feeling, feeling the warmth of the seat, the rumble of the car as it sat in gear. I pulled the car outside her place, got out and set off for her door. There was a familiar buzz of the doorbell and a warm, sassy sounding voice from the speaker.

"Hey, it's me."
"Hey, come on up."

The door rattled with a buzz and I pushed my way in. I came up to her door on the third floor, and the same little bare room made itself present again.

"Hey you."
"How're you doing?"
"Fine, just give me a second to finish putting on makeup."
"Sure sure."

I sat in a small easy chair as she disappeared to the bathroom again. I looked around, there seemed to be a bit more furniture than when I was here earlier this morning.

"Is some of this furniture new?"
"How is furniture 'sorta' new?"
"Well, college finished a couple of days ago, and students are just throwing all this stuff out."
"Did you look at it with a black light first?"
"I didn't want to think about that."
"Well, it comes with student used furniture."
"So.. where are we going?" She emerged from the doorway, wearing a black slinky dress, her face lightly touched up with makeup. "I mean, if we're going somewhere else, I need to change again."
I thought about it, one thing came up. "Twin Peaks."
"Twin peaks? The bar?"
"Yeah sure. C'mon it'll be fun. Look, I got my darts with me, I can teach you." She reluctantly looked at me with a cocked head and little pouted lips. "Or how about Swing."
"That sounds more like it." She grabbed me by the tie and we left her place. In the hall, there is an old alcove for the telephone, she pushed me into it. Her lips pressed against mine, this caught me by surprise, and I just let it happen.
"How 'bout dinner too?"
"That's better."

I took her for dinner at Oxygen 42, a considerable dig into my pocket and then we found ourselves dancing and grinding around the dance floor. Drinks flowed between me and her, more her than me. Before long, I found her crashing about, falling, flailing and generally, very drunk. After an hour's worth of dancing, I had to drag her back to the car.

"Where are your keys?"
"I dunno. They-they were n a scrunchie on my wrist." I looked at her wrists. Bare. "But uh oh. Looks like I lost them."
"How am I supposed to get you home?"
"Take me with you!"
"It's only our first date. Look... I"
"Shhhh. Just let me sleep. I promise I wont be bad."
"Allright I suppose."

I drove back to my loft and took her up to my room. She looked at me, a wide grin smashed itself over her face. She giggled and then pounced onto my bed. I looked at her, I cant do it I thought. She's drunk. She looked at me and crawled to the edge of the bed and grabbed my tie again and this time, with a weird amount of strength, she pulled me down on top of her. The rest is just history.

I woke up, the sun was streaming through the windows, and my head was still somewhat of a groggy mess. I looked around. The bedsheets were tangled around my legs and waist. A lump of pillows lay around, the comforter was thrown onto the chair and there were clothes everywhere. I looked to my side and splayed out on the sheets, arms enwrapt around a stuffed moose I had laying on the bed, was the naked figure of Samantha. Her hair was spread out and fanned over the pillows. I drew a finger and poked her side. Her eyes stirred, and I poked again. Her lips, parted revealing a small pink tongue that licked around.

Atlas and Kingman Sts.

I sat quietly at the cafe, sketchbook laid out flat in front of me. My cigarette still let little wisps out, showing resilience to dying out just yet. As I drew, the pen just seemed to flow over the pages, cutting loose all of my enslaved ideas and thoughts in picture form. It was a little while since I last saw Sam. That morning we had gone to bed together, she just disappeared and hadn't called since. The waiter brought along another coffee to the table. As I looked at the steaming cup, I heard the piercing ring of a cellphone. I looked around to find this strange source of noise and found myself making eyes with Sam again. She saw me and sprang up, knocking over her table and the things on it.

"Oh my god, so there you went."
"Yeah, here I went."
"Why didn't you call?" Her legs crossed, revealing a bit of a thigh. It was becoming irresistable.
"Well, you left in such a hurry, I almost thought you didn't want to be bothered."
"A girl would like to know a little bit at least..."
"Well, I apologize then."
"Do you want to make a girl's fancy again?"
"You know..." Her skirt lifted a little.
"Aha, well... hum." I put my coffee down and looked her in the eyes. Her lashes batted over her light blue eyes. "I could.. Lets go how's that?"

I took her arm and she took mine and we walked back to my apartment.