May 20, 2006
May 19, 2006
Basically, it's a merry go round on top of a worse merry go round. I spent most of the ride staring at a liquid acclerometer which barely did anything. When I did push it down, it seemed to read even higher. But the ride offers great views of the park from a certain height and angle.
3 out of 10 thumbs up
our second ride of the day was our first upside down ride of the day. Apparently, today, Nick Tag lost his "Virginity" (first upside down ride) on the vortex. The vortex is where you stand on a platform and it throws you at a magnificent height. For this one, instead of staring at a accelerometer, I was staring into the face of Ivan's ancient calculator. It seems, when you have a focus on an object, you tend to lose the feeling of where you are. Since I stupidly was staring at the thing, I didnt scream, nor did I notice how the ride was. But I could feel the outside forces.
5 out of 10 thumbs up
Rue le Dodge
A strange name for bumper cars. But means, street of dodging. Except in bumper cars, you dont really dodge other cars so much as side swipe another person and give the finger as many times as possible. This one, I was really jostled around and I couldnt help but feel malicious and rear end some fat fremont students. Not the most exciting but very fun. The cars were pretty cramped and I could barely get my leg to fit in between the steering column and the side of the car so I could operate the pedals
6 out of 10 thumbs up
This has absoutley have to be my most favorite ride of all time. I lost my "virginity" to this ride 2 trips ago. This time, I was much smarter to hold the calculator (Dr. Dauber's much faster one) lower and actually enjoy the ride. You sit this time and you go up a incline about 8 storeys up and begin your steep descent to end up in a loop de loop, then a cork screw over people waiting in line. Next you're brought over a man made lake and here, it felt like the greatest force ever. It really felt like I was flying through the air. That sort of feeling... like going WHOOSH over at this part. Always loved it, always will.
10 out of 10 thumbs up
Here, we moved to the otherside of the park for the day. And now, we dragged Mr. Galaway with us. Matt Bar... decided he didnt want to go on this, so he took Andrew over to demon to ride alone. So we get in line. And whilst in line, aparently, the "white" group had lagged behind this fat lonely looking woman "shooed" them. And once we reach the bend in the line that would eventually split into two groups, she was talking to Mr. Galaway like there was no tomorrow. She poured out all over him. We think she even turned around to use one of those quick brush up pads from colgate to hopefully get a kiss from him. Luckily, we managed to pull him away. I had to wear the data vest on this ride and the xyz accelerometer was uncomfortable as hell. So we get on. It goes up pretty quickly, and here's the quote of the day.
"Hey nick. We're pretty high up arent we?"
"Yeah man, we're high"
I pressed two. Woosh. Scream. Yell. Yes. Yell. the magnetic braking sounded like farts. It was awesome. We took a look at the calculator and saw our results. line line line Jump to the top of the screen. Back down. line line line. We shuffled out as fast as possible to avoid crazy cat, brush her teeth in line lady.
8 out of 10 thumbs up
Ah, nothing like a roller coaster built of lumber. I had to return the calculator first and then cut in line to catch up with the rest of our friends. Ah cutting. Is there anything more glorious? Yes. Pizza for dinner. But I digress. This ride is the bumpiest ride that I've been on all day. Yup, bumpier than bumper cars. The whole thing would vibrate as it rolled down. Not much to say other than My knees had a hard time fitting into the rear seats of the cars.
7 out of 10 thumbs up
When you say you lost your virginity, we mean it's your first time on an upside down ride. How cool would it sound to say: I lost my virginity to the demon. Sure demon is a strange form of the devil to use, but it's cooler than losing it to the Centurion. What could I say? Here, I lowered my sling bag and it pressed against the key fob that was on my pants. THe thing opened up and I lost the key for the lock on my calculator pocket. I have a spare, but i'm hesitant to use it. But back to the ride. It's the smoothest ride i've been on. It rides like a cadillac. It starts off with a stinky tunnel that smelled of old rubber. Then it takes you up an incline. Down once. Looppy de loop. Another one, a tunnel, soemthing. Then another tunnel and a triple corkscrew. During the whole time, I was with Mr. Galaway and he kept laughing like: Ha Ha Ha Ha. Not really laughing, but the more... laughing in the face of dagner type laughing. My first time on the demon too. I'm still pissed about the key.
8 out of 10 thumbs up
So Now, it's time to go home. We've all collected ourselves at carousel columbia and we go home. I'm trying to do the packet on the bus, but it's waaay too loud. I managed to get some things done. I gave up. Who cares? Excellent day. I got 4 numbers from my friends. Excellent day eh?
May 13, 2006
May 08, 2006
May 03, 2006
May 02, 2006
May 01, 2006
You all know about the Darwin Awards - the annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.
Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
This guy has to be this year's raging favourite:
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene.
The lab finally figured out what it was and what had happened.
It seems that a guy had somehow got hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields.
He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!
The facts, as best as could be determined, are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately three miles from the crash site.
This was established by the prominent scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within five seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.
The driver, soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, basically causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event.
However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tyres and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The car then become airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and hit the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater three feet deep in the rock.
Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.
Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron nearly reached Mach I, attaining a ground-speed of approximately 420 mph.