August 06, 2007

Surviving 10 minutes into the future: Dealing with your kids

Lets take a metaphorical example. Take you and tweaking around time. You have been thrown into the future. OMG! But wait. Some things are different, some aren't. But now you look at your watch. You've been thrown into the future. TEN WHOLE MINUTES!

Today's guide is on how to deal with your children. Firstly, you may go, what's the point in this? It'll come in handy if the situation happens. Anyone ever see "Futurama"? The situation is Fry finds his great grandson, professor Farnsworth, who aparently is around 185 or so. And yet, fry is still around 24 or so.

So we need to learn how to deal with our future children.

1. If in the case you do actually have future kids, avoid using period slang of your 10 minutes ago. So lets take the metaphorical situation. Jane has entered a quark. Foosh! 10 minutes ahead into the future. Oh dear god. She's in a new place. The hospital. *pop* here comes the baby. She better not seem like a square to her new son. So avoid 90s talk like, "LETS GET PSYCHED!" Also, avoid giving gifts like: pogs and cases of "SURGE!"

2. If you have a teen, the situation gets a bit worse. You'll be 10 minutes behind, but even 10 minutes ago, you were always at least 20 years behind. So a teen is a gimmie.

3. your adult son: dont bother. They haven't called in the last 10 years.

4. If you somehow meet your grandchild who's older than you somehow in the quark of 10 minutes. The situation is weird. You'd probably have something going on behind your back.

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