December 01, 2008

How to Survive 10 minutes into the future! Libraries

Lets take a metaphorical example, take you and time and tweak it. You have now been thrown forward, into the future... TEN WHOLE MINUTES.

Studious as you are, you may have found a seat in the Engineering or Architecture library at your school and discovered it to be a wormhole. Scientists argue that Worm holes are gaps between two spaces in the time fabric that link two periods together. Fact of the matter is, that once it enters, we never hear of it again. Probably because they've entered one that sends then back to when time was just beginning. Now who ever imagined that radio waves could travel through worm holes. It cant. I digress. Your library seat is a worm hole. You travel into the future and you look about. No degrees of destruction, apocalyptic fear or mass amounts of republicans surround you. You wonder what has happened. The display on your computer indicates its 10 minutes past since you've sat down. You realize what just happened. You have traveled into the future. TEN WHOLE MINUTES.

1. Chances are, when you traveled or existed outside of the current time fabric, you thought it funny to make a lot of noise. Fart sounds, armpit gasps, real farts, belches, alphabelching, and lots of other annoying things. But what you dont realize, your body is existing in the same place, but outside of its physical realm. So all that noise you're making in space. Yeah, everyone heard it. So your best bet, when you go through and return, apologize. And another thing, cosmic farts stink really badly, so dont.

2. In the ten minutes you didn't exist. Someone may have stolen your computer. So be sure that before you sit down, lock your computer and hide your mouse. You cant trust them shifty engineers.

3. Do not panic. Sure someone else has taken the journal you were using, but for good reason. You weren't there to use it so I needed it and took it. Plain as plain cheese.

4. If you've ever dealt with cosmic particles, they may have screwed around with your hairdo. But that's ok, you're in a library. Extra points if you're in the engineering one. For that matter, everyone looks bad there.

So if you hadn't figured it out, I am sitting in the Engineering library as I write this. So anyways, be careful, what you do to the future... will affect uh.. the future. So there we have it. And happy time travelling!

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