Dear Bears...

Come on Bears, you've never let me down like this before. I know, I shouldn't be a "Cal Fan" the kind who turns red the moment the season goes sour. But i'm sitting here, listening to Mr. Starkey on the radio and i'm getting worried. I'm not going turn coat or anything like that, but I just want to know what you're really doing. When your offensive line was uber strong in the 5 game streak, now the defense is doing bad, and now you, but the defense not so much. Curse the radio and its lack of TV-ness. But even Mr. Starkey is showing the otherwise. He said no miracles in sight. Or something like that. Compared to the speech he gave at colloquium, Joe Starkey said: Cal's going to need a miracle to save them (the play). Blah blah blah. I'm pissed. No, not really. Really Dissapointed. Kinda like a parent who finds out their child is failing school, impregnated a girl and smoking pot constantly. I want you do better. I want not just longer practices, but more effective training and intense training.

COME ON!

frock frock frokc. DEFENSE BEARS! DEFENSE! *clap clap*

Sorry, I'm trying to listen to the game on the radio. *Cries*

How can you? Why did you? Why aren't I wearing the lucky underpants and Cal Tshirt?

Quiet you Arizona...

1st half go!

I'm just gibbering now. Gosh.

Oregon and Arizona st... powerhouses. It sounds so strange.

Damn... the game's over...

31-20...

So much for the amazing season we were hoping for...
There's still hope. Sort of...
Well, no more rose bowl.

It was this close. Right in front of our faces...
FUCK!

What turned on us? What cruel fate turned on us to cause the loss streak? Why? Was it something I did?

I'm turning into a fan freak. The kind that does the special thing everytime the game is happening. I used to wear the same underpants and tshirt for all the games. Maybe that's the problem. I shouldn't wash them ever...

Hum

I always say, a post is long overdue and yet, I do nothing. I just sit in my room and just stare at the computer.

And I just left and came back. For a whole half hour. I'm a terrible person! Gaaaugh.... I'm so easily distracted out here in college. Work is always an option, one that, at first, can be taken fairly lightly and as time goes on, you'll definetly need to step it up. And I just think, i'm turning into that one guy wiht the beer belly and the comb over sitting in an e-z-boy just watching from a bunny ears tv the news or something of that or a similar nature. But then, I hear on the radio that the bunny ears are being phased out at this point. Kinda weird feeling. As a kid, you always grew up with these certain ideals. Safeway and Luckys. Then when Albertsons came along, you got freaked out. That's kinda what i'm feeling at this point, knowing that the ears will be useless. After serving me well for the past 18 years of my life. I recall grandma's tv in her room that used to have the old fashioned pull out knobs and the set channels on the TV. Now that was a tv. Back on those days when they used to be a piece of furniture. Now, everything has reached this threshold of digital confusion and for certain, I'm gonna fall behind in all this foward moving technology. I cant even figure out how to do certain functions on a computer and trying to do so just throws me off at some points.

So what's great about college. Alot of people keep asking me that. As if something really amazing is supposed to happen. Like in all the movies you see portrayed by hollywood. With everyone getting drunk and there be a total plethora of boobies and hot blonde chicks trying get laid with the hot looking guy or the guy who's pretty ugly but owns an entire house. College is nothing like that. So far, its been alot of studying, alot of sleeping, alot of missed sleeping and alot of eating dorm food. If anything, dorm food is disgusting and i can help but find myself lost in a sea of meat loaf, jungle curry and fountain sodas.

But there are its ups. But it varies from college to college. UC Berkeley is nestled into the heart of Berkeley. Without it, Berkeley would probably be just another suburban town located just north of Oakland. The university brings so much life to this area and my dorm is just wedged right here. Wedged in without thought or process. I guess the University owns alot of land and I cant blame them, they've been probably the largest landowners since 1868. But back to where I live. What can I say? Its truly an amazing place, all the shops, tea places, bars and restaurants. It gets crazy. I can say that one person on my floor has vomited in our bathrooms twice as of yesterday. First time, he wandered in drunk and puked all over the door. Second time, at least it happened one floor below me. I guess if I had moved to Cal Poly instead of Berkeley, I would most likely have spent a million less dollars. I'm sure about that. But then again, CP dont have a football team I enjoy watching with friends.

Speaking of friends, I miss the Brownsons alot for certain. Espically when we'd go watch the Bears games. It was a new and sensational feeling. Being the nerdy spaz that I am, I had never been to a collegiate football game in my life. Look at me now, freshman free tickets, UC Rally Com, I get great seats.

Living out here, like 12 miles from home, you would think: Oh hey, that guy's not home sick at all. I totally think that. I'm sure he can survive out and never get sad at all. Not true, I guess i'm starting to really feel the misery and sadness that's associated with this lack of going home. I'm planning going home soon.

Thoughts from my voice recorder

Dates recorded: Unknown

1. "Dream log, uh.. I had a apparently was walking through the street and I saw this old junk shop, kind of a low shanty building. Then I suddenly grow excited cause I see and recgonize this white vest and cross belt on it and much to my amazement it was a Cal band uniform with the pants and the top part and the hat. The price for the top and the pants were 33.90 and the hat cost 12.50. Call me crazy but I wonder if these numbers have to do with anything... Ok, well... goodnight.

2. I do not wish to visit a country where the entire language consists of: "Please give me food", "Help me!" and "Look! there's an american. lets steal his pants.

3. You can do it...

4. Random Banjo Sounds

5. Good evening, this is the six o'clock news and I'm Dan Rathers and I endorse the following statement: "Bang, Bang. Skeet... Skeet"

Victory at last!

So this is what it feels like when you're in a state of high elation.

Muahah!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/10/02/MNN6SI0OS.DTL

so after a year battling the court system, the Tree people lose and suck alot and now, the University is coming out on top as the victor.

You couldn't imagine much of a case for these people. Living in the University's property, trying to tell them what they can and cannot do, and on top of all that, they fling their poo around and increased their hostile actions against fellow university students as well. So I can say this, justice is finally served and like revenge, it tastes amazing served cold.

is it a real problem?

Is it a problem when you order garlic fries at a restaurant, and it has the strong odor of gasoline, paint or any sort of burning petroleum product?

I probably shouldn't have eaten those fries

Gooooood mooorning Cal Fans!

Goooooooooood Mooorning Cal Fans!

and welcome to another game day, today September 15, 2007. Its a beautiful day, hopefully cold enough to freeze some southern flowers if you catch my drift.

On the other side of the peninsula, several Spartans will be clearing the forest,

Unfortunately, Some of us feel extreme sympathy for the forest and would like them to win a game so they dont bring the pac 10 so much.

Sorry Livia: College Life

Welcome! I read something I like that was on Oh My Livia (see blogroll for link), and I just wanted to do the same thing. My guess is that we're both freshmen in college and certainly at very different schools. Me, UC Berkeley and she, I dont really know. But I wanted to do something similar with what I like and dont like about colleges. (Sorry to her if some of the things are just like hers as well, but I think they're just as awesome.

So here goes.

Top 5 things I love about college

5. The bonding between you and your floor mates. Seriously, I think that some of these people will be your best friends for the next few years. On our floor, we had some pretty crazy activities going on, hallcest, floorcest, dormcest, our own floor orchestra, sushi parties, sleeping in other people's beds, fooling around with people who pass out in front of your door step and throwing things out of the 8th floor window. *cough*soccerball*cough cough*. 'scuse me...

4. The convenience of having a dining common right outside of your building. I swear, its more convenient than most other things. I mean, pull out my ID from my wallet, swipe and i'm good to go and eat food!

3. The option of going to class

2. The Campiniele is such a wonderful place, I've made several sketches of it, being an architecture student of course, and the view is magnificent. I dont know why I forgot my camera that day, but the day I went up was the last day you could even see the golden gate bridge and the rest of the bay area. As usual, Evans hall is an eyesore to look at.

1. The world of culture in Berkeley. It seems that every single culture in the world possibly has managed to mash up into the 40 square miles that is Berkeley. Dancing, chanting, music and Art, its everywhere! I cannot turn my head without being acclaimed as the latest masterpiece of phenomenal tai chi.

Top five things I hate about College

5. Doing my own laundry. I used to make my own little brother do the whole thing, now I have to do it on my own and watch it too and the whole process is like an hour and a half. Maybe more. The first time I did it, it wasn't too bad. i thought there was at least a sky light that had opaque panels that opened to the sky. Then I realized that right above is the DC and upon closer inspection of panels themselves and for heaven's sake! Fluorescent tubes! Biggest let down since that one episode of How I met your Mother.

4. Class in Evans Hall. Other Berkeley students hopefully agree with me on this one. Having sections in an indoor classroom at Evans is like being stuck in the Fishbowl classroom twice back in High School. But walking to class in Evans Hall is almost reminiscent of walking through the death star and taking class in the Death Star. Gaah, talk about dreary. Andre makes up for having class there though.

3. Hearing religious radical yell profanities such as "JESUS HATES MORMONS! JESUS HATES JEWS! JESUS HATES HOMOSEXUALS!" Being as I am, I am offended by all of these comments. Being the Asian bisexual mormon/jew I am, I find total offense from these people. And because of the sixties, they have a right to say that. But I wonder, at what point does the public have the right to use the university to spread their message? I'm sure there's a public threshold and right but to spread such awful ideas.

2. The Lack of Privacy. Granted, my roommate does go home every so often for stuff, but then the rest of the time, we're usually at each other's elbows. Which is OK and all, but I miss having a private room sometimes.

1. The tree outside my window. Yes, I live on the 8th floor and it does communicate a level of privacy for me from the ground, but then I cant post stupid signs on my window for everyone to see

Gross Negligence

Yes, I've been really bad about keeping you all updated about things and nuts like this. But ok, let's do some catching up. First, I need to read my own blog to see where I even am at...

(a moment later)

Okay, I have an idea now. I should think.

So since that time I felt the spine tingling notion of an all out campus war of hippies and normies, I attended the Tennessee football game on saturday. Granted, I was a little worried when every time we scored a touchdown and Tennessee would get their own back. But then, they fizzled off. During a fourth down punt, Tenn had punted the ball to DeSean Jackson who proceeded to kick ass by scoring a 70+ yard touchdown. Next time Ts had to punt, biggest pussy ever. 13 yard punt. Obviously the shining pinnacle of Tennessee's punter's achievements.

And the Brownsons, who have been always so gracious and kind to me, had taken a starving, well maybe two starving college students for dinner on Shattuck. Calzone was absoutely delicious. I wish I had more...

Sketchbooks. My room is starting to fill up with sketchbooks and art supplies. I guess that's the slow transformation into an architect. Unfourtunate for me, the mess follows me everywhere. Heh, it wasn't until two days ago when I discovered the joys and pleasures of using Tombo water based markers to color. Its like god now and i'm actually psyched about coloring. If any you really know me, you'd all know that of all things in the world, I hated coloring. Coloring tried to make amends, oh it did. But it wouldn't work. No sir it didn't. Coloring would try its best, and here's the conversation I had with it.

Zach: Oh Zeus! I can't stand coloring things!
Coloring: Oh please, try harder!
Z: why bother?
C: look, crayola came out with some really nice new line of smooth flow color pencils, no more breaking tips!
Z: Oh stop, I hate coloring still
C: Or maybe your water colors set. You love watercolors...
Z: Yeah, I do. But its so much work and alot to clean up.
C: What about finger paints?
Z: Like I said, messy.
C: I give up
*Tombo marker walks in*
T: Hey, what's goin' on in here?
C: Not much, Zach wont color?
T: Yeah? Well, try me
*Zach uses tombo marker*
Z: Ooooh *orgasm's everywhere*
C: Damn you to hell! Damn the likes of both of you!

So that's sorta what happened.

What else? I should post pictures from my sketchbook some time. I'd do it, but then i'd have to pull out my camera and stuff like that...

Well, so long for now readers!

Ad Slogan Generator

Who remembers the ad slogan generator where you put a word in and it matches it up into several well known slogans. And one I noticed that was really good was dirty words. In my case, penis.

like: Is penis in you?

or: Penis licking good!

The Penis is mightier than the sword

Strong and beautiful just like a penis

and my favorite:

I cant believe I ate the whole penis

I have that gut feeling

That very feeling that something may just very well burst forth and just get really messy. I probably can safely say that there are more of us who can feel this pressure building up and I think at least this time, there'll be two sides. Those in favor, and those who still fight for it.

If you have no idea at the moment, I'm speaking of the increasing tension between the tree hippies and the football fans. At this point, even the city of berkeley has begun to attack its own university. First of all, Berkeley would still be a cow shit, farming town without the university. Why do people flock to Berkeley? Because of Telegraph avenue? Well, the only reason Tele is like that is because of the university itself. So now that the city is biting the hand that feeds it, as well as some hill panorama thing, they're arguing over people's safety. The university has proved numerous times that the new sports facility is seismically safe, and will provide an updated and less hazardous training environment.

And yet, despite the proof, Berkeley and the tree sitters refuse to let up.

As for the trees, well, they're university property and they were planted in 1923-1927 during the Howard beautification plan. After the construction of Memorial. Which explains the uniform distance between trees. Now these people have "removed dead limbs" from other trees to make their platforms. Now, to my knowledge, they have damaged other types of trees other than the coast oaks to make their platforms. You kinda see the problem here. They've damaged property for their own needs.

If only we could charge them for vandalizing property, trespassing and squatting. Unfortunately, the University is defined as a "public forum" and therefore, people are allowed to use the property for their own needs, but at this point, they've been living on university property, probably haven't submitted taxes for awhile, therefore not paying the education tax to support the university. You can use the university, if you've help pay for it of course.

But I guess they're wearing down. At first, there were probably maybe around 60, now there remains a mere six. A dedicated few (non-students) living on the university's property for the sake of saving a lower life form than that of man. Call that dedication to a sinking ship.

But back to this gut feeling. I just know at some point during this year, there'll just be a full blown war (I hope). Between us, and them. Them being the tree people.

Czachi's in College

Heyo all, I'm sitting in lecture and today, I must say is one of the first times i've been late for class. I had to go from unit three to Hertz hall and to some, on a map, that doesn't seem too far, but in reality, its running up a hill about a quarter mile. And I have a bad right leg. If you knew, when I walk or run, I limp slightly and my right knee hurts all the time.

But right now, my professor: professor Brinner is talkinga bout something and I probably should be paying attention. So so long, and stay tuned.

Czachi's update since last time

So I dont even remember what happened on my last post mostly because I've been gone forever and i've had my heart broken as well. Oh the pain, oh the pangs! Oh the overacting!

I cant pin point the exact point where I left off at the moment, but I can do a damn close job. I think it happened somewhere last in the last week or so. So lets get updated.

1. I packed for the fall training program up at davis.

2. I attended FTP. Three hard days of marching and performing. I can tell you, alot of sweat, tears and some blood went into this just get into cal band.

3. I get rejected from cal band. I cried like a fuck.

4. I get over rejection and move into my dorm room.

5. Dorm life is the best. I cant believe its like this. Life is great. Apart from rejection.

6. I bought books and stuff like that.

7. Some books I need for my italian class... backordered...

8. Life beckons!

I just feel like stealing

From College Humor
by: Aaron Peever

The Internal Monologue of a Polo Shirt about to have its Collar Popped

Ah yes, Friday! I’ve done my time in the hamper and in the wash and now it’s finally my day in the rotation. Friday! That’s the best day to get worn. That means I’m chick-worthy. I’m the kind of shirt that is going to get a girl all excited and maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll get tossed on the floor tonight. That would be so rad. The striped dress shirts will be so jealous.

That’s right buddy, take me off the hanger. You know I’m the pick of the week. There’s no question that I’m getting worn tonight. You even ironed me last night straight out of the dryer. Extra starch on the collar too. This is going to happen, pal. There you go buddy, toss me onto the bed to make sure I match your jeans. You know I do. Pastel Pink goes with everything my man, the chick at A&F told you so.

Yeah, that’s a good looking shirt/jean combo. This is going to work. What are you doing? Are you putting on Axe? That stuff reeks. It smells like Binaca and lighter fluid. Aw crap, now we’re going to smell like an asshole all night.

Yes, this is it. Put me on. Effin’ right we look good. Vintage fit was definitely a good choice. I totally make your arms look huge. I am so going to get tossed on the floortonight. It looks like we’re ready to hit the town. What are you doing? Oh crap, come on. Don’t flip up my collar it looks retarded. Are you serious? You’re going to go out like that with my perfectly pressed collar flipped up?No one can appreciate my thread count if you do that. Not to mention the fact that it looks mighty gay.

I hope you can pull this off my friend, because you have just cut your chances in half. Maybe if you put on a nice hat it will cancel out the lame-factor of the collar. A visor? Seriously? I’m not so sure about that. Oh shit, you did not just put that on upside down. You actually think that looks good? Give me a break, man. That is the worst idea ever. Are you trying to go home with a fat chick? Is that the case? Because you’re doing everything right if you are.

I thought tonight was going to be different. I really did. Oh well, you asked for it. I am totally going to make myself get wrinkled by the time you leave, and then we’ll see who brings anyone home. And if you spill anything on me tonight, I swear to God I will shrink in the wash. You better finish gelling your hair, I think I hear your bros coming.

Ironing

You know, Czachi is no good at Ironing. Today, I made the desperate attempt to iron shirts. As you've seen, I wear striped shirts every so often. And the polo too. But its not really necessary to iron polos. But if you would have saw me, you would have laughed and shit your pants.

The Simplest Gesture

You ever had one of those days? You're moody, the sky is overcast, you have to run between two cities to drop off important documents and the only way is by public transportation. I had one of those days today. I left around 10:30 to run down to the school to pick up a trasnscript I had requested since the one I had sent out was probably sent out wrong. But today was the day I was going to make it all right again. I parked the car on Walnut, walked over to the bus stop, took BART out to Berkeley and dropped it off. I'm a free man now. I go back, and back home, I get the car and I drive by a friend's place, call him, etc. Next thing you know, I'm driving out to park street to get lunch with some old High School buddies. But parking. There's the problem. I rummaged through the pocket in my wallet. About 73 cents in change. Thats enough to get an hour. But I find parking on Santa Clara and as I pull in, the meter man is walking by, collecting all the change and I'm standing on the sidewalk and I'm fidgeting for change. I lay out the two quarters and the few nickels and pennies on the sidewalk and count out how much I need. He comes up to me and goes, "Son, let me help you out." He opens the thing, collects the change, and with a quarter, he drops it in, takes it out, and again and again until there's two hours on the machine. I'm like "Wow! Gee thanks mister." and all he said in return was, "Well, I gotta check the machines and you know, they get itchy about it if it don't work so have a good day fella." I thanked him properly and started to walk towards Park St. A big grin on my face. Its not because I got free parking, its because of the simple gesture this man put foward to me. So even this simple gesture could make anyone's day, and for me, it most certainly did. The sky cleared up, my friends appeared, the whole world just seemed to smile towards you all of a sudden.

Anyone ever remember that one VW commercial where the guy is struggling with change, and a girl pops in a quarter for him cause he drives a bug and he walks off, big smile, opens the door for an old lady, she's now smiling, it just goes on and on. The whole world just seems a better place when we're all willing to help each other out. Sure, but I hope now, that all of you wont run out to take advantage of a meter collector. So I've got this to say. Be happy, make someone happy. The world smiles with you.

An Atrocity: Private ownership of land.

I've recently come back from a trip down to Monterey and I was disgusted at one point on the trip. Driving down the 17 mile drive there was some great places I was tempted to run around on the side of the road. But every so often, Barbed wire poked out from the thick brush. It got my hopes up and down. *sigh*

Then I began to think about explorers and how they treked over this nation and many others and not be stopped mid way by a tin sign that said No Tresspassing and some barbed wire and a bunch of poles. It was at that very moment, I wanted to be an explorer and I felt like tresspassing wherever I damn well felt like it. And I looked back to a book I was and still am to this day reading. "A Pattern Language" in a chapter that identified "The Countryside" it said:

"Parks are dead and artificial. Farms when treated as private property, rob the people of their natural biological heritage - the countryside from which they came" (Christopher Alexander, A Pattern Language, Center For Envirnomental Structure, Berkeley, CA, 1977)

I know i'm no countryman, but my ancestors were. I know there is not one person in this world, who cannot trace their heritage back, back, back and back to a farmer or a countryman. Even royalty I suppose. But the book really has me thinking, since I'm an architecture major at Berkeley, and I began to wonder. What can we as Americans, do to alleviate this problem. The fact that everyone is worried that their land will be used and lived on by squatters is the only reason why everyone pulls out the stakes, electric wires and barbed wires. As the book states. Property is Theft. It robs us all of the land we come from and for all of us, there is no way to enjoy a pasture or a field without hearing a gun cock. What happened to those good old days when grandpa and grandma with their kids would pull over the ol' Chevy Nomad on the side of the country lane, they'd walk out to the edge of a forest or grove, set down the blanket and picnic lunch and the kid's would have fun running around and playing in the grass with maybe a ball or kite. Not anymore. You look at the highway landscape and everything is fenced off, No tresspassing signs nailed to posts and trees. Mankind's ability to produce money has also produced our ability to buy the natural wonders of a nation, fence it off, build a tacky private house by it just to enjoy it constantly and never share with the world. Come on world. If you're so private about your personal life, I get why you'd move to the country. But Thousands of people drive by your house if its on the interstate and more if you're on 17 mile drive. The physical and mental structure of the american family cannot subsist entirely on the Nuclear scheme. Everyone is dependent on each other. Young kids need old people, Parents need children and Old People need everyone. Invariably, you set yourself apart and you become the dysfunctional family that you see on tv sometimes. Like that one from that sexed up town in georgia. Everyone is upper class, all the teens own a nice car and they could spider web a link of who has had sex with who and aparently, all the teens in that town are linked together. Kinda gross no? So there needs to be more social interaction in the family than just Jimmy, Dad and Mom. It has to be Jimmy, Dad, Mom and the world. But you lose the world connection when you isolate yourself and seclude yourself on your Private Property. Oh zeus... this world of ours. Well.. Just america.

Surviving 10 minutes into the future: Dealing with your kids

Lets take a metaphorical example. Take you and tweaking around time. You have been thrown into the future. OMG! But wait. Some things are different, some aren't. But now you look at your watch. You've been thrown into the future. TEN WHOLE MINUTES!

Today's guide is on how to deal with your children. Firstly, you may go, what's the point in this? It'll come in handy if the situation happens. Anyone ever see "Futurama"? The situation is Fry finds his great grandson, professor Farnsworth, who aparently is around 185 or so. And yet, fry is still around 24 or so.

So we need to learn how to deal with our future children.

1. If in the case you do actually have future kids, avoid using period slang of your 10 minutes ago. So lets take the metaphorical situation. Jane has entered a quark. Foosh! 10 minutes ahead into the future. Oh dear god. She's in a new place. The hospital. *pop* here comes the baby. She better not seem like a square to her new son. So avoid 90s talk like, "LETS GET PSYCHED!" Also, avoid giving gifts like: pogs and cases of "SURGE!"

2. If you have a teen, the situation gets a bit worse. You'll be 10 minutes behind, but even 10 minutes ago, you were always at least 20 years behind. So a teen is a gimmie.

3. your adult son: dont bother. They haven't called in the last 10 years.

4. If you somehow meet your grandchild who's older than you somehow in the quark of 10 minutes. The situation is weird. You'd probably have something going on behind your back.

I'm not here right now

So this is the first time I've really gotten a chance to use my new laptop for this kinda work. I must say. Its really refreshing and the action on this laptop is much better than the allway down stroke of a normal keyboard. For now, I think i'm set. Hah.

i'm racist.

Damn straight. If I wanted to, seriously, I could find a stereotype for every race out there. Dont get me wrong about civil liberties and all, but some things I find annoying. I wont identify them, but I will let you all know I am.

Zach's Guide on Surviving 10 minutes into the future: Culture Gap

Lets take a metaphorical example, take you and time and tweak it. You have now been thrown forward, into the future... TEN WHOLE MINUTES.

Good evening readers here from sunny, West coast San Francisco. I dont live there, but I live somewhere near. But anyhow, lets get started on our whole situation. What are you going to do to survive? How will you manage? But today, we focus on the Culture gap of your pre10 minute agoistic culture and the culture of the 10 minutes ahead culture.

Number one: If anyone should ask you if you've heard the new: Djoe or Eaked Album, do what you used to do ten minutes in the past whenever someone mentioned a band you've never heard of. Lie the shit out of your pants. No need to actually know the songs themselves either. Just nod and go: Oh yeah! a lot. You're catching on quickly!

Example: In the 10 minute past:
Bob: Hey man, have you heard the new Radiohead album?
Sara: Um... (contemplates... Who is Radiohead?) Of course. It's totally awesome.
Bob: Good
*time quirk*
Futurebob: Hey man, have you heard the new MxPx album?
Sara: Um... (contemplates... Who is MxPx?) Of course. It's totally awesome.
Futurebob: Boop boop.

Number 2: When anyone asks you to sing along, just BS it. It dont matter if you know the words for sure. Just do what you used to in the past. Mouthing! It makes you look cool, and yet, all you're doing is behaving like a fish! Applies to past songs, future songs and foreign songs.

Example: In the 10 minute past
Bob: Hey Sara, c'mon. Sing "Indigo Tapes" with me!
Sara: *mouths along*
Bob: And I dont know how you got the tape stuck in there! Oooh yeah!
*time quirk*
Futurebob: Hey Sara, c'mon. Sing "Indigenous Tapes" with me!
Sara: *mouths along*
Bob: And I dont know how the abo got into the VCR! Oooh yeah!
*abduction into foreign country*
Roberto: Muey Muey sneiohah, Quong "Indyhgk Tapuu" con mah!
Sara: *mouths along*
Roberto: dugga Dugga dugga! Hoom vah leek do tah!

So maybe that last one wont work so well, but anything is always worth a shot.

Number three: So you've missed the last ten minutes in television. Big deal you think. Of course its a big deal. Look at your watch. What time did you skip? First part of the hour or half hour? You got off lucky. The end of the first half hour or the end of the hour? You're screwed! How will you know what happens on reality TV shows or game shows or your soaps?! Hopefully, if you were smart, you'd tape every single episode on television, stack and correlate the tapes and watch them if you ever experience a time jump. You may look like a crazy person whose home is filled with a million VCR cassette tapes, but at least you'll know who got kicked off the island while you were gone.

Number four: If you were in a club at the time. Lucky you. You've just skipped past 10 minutes of annoying thumping sounds that passes for music in bars. But maybe while you were gone, they started playing a song that was interactive. Like the macarena or the YMCA. Whatever it is 10 minutes into the future and you find yourself in the middle of, get the heck out. Dont be a fool and stand and try to do what everyone else is doing. You'll never make it.

So with that in mind, happy futures means you did something bad in the past! I'm your blogger, Z