May 15, 2007
Buffalo Sandwich
Answers
Yes, I do wash my hands after going
The fact that the thumb is on the side doesnt differentiate it from a finger. They still do the same thing dont they? But what is the physical difference between them other than position?
May 14, 2007
As you like it
One year, Cal Band owned USC band with hecka tubas and the world's largest sousaphone. But I digress. The real purpose was to lead up to the awesome joke. But yeah. I really wonder what stirs this competition between schools? The desire to be best? How absurd. I guess that's how it is when my school is so vain. Oh, we must get test scores up, oh we must have every single senior taking an AP class, Oh we must get top scores on Star tests. Oh we gotta fix the pee-pees cause they scare visitors. Everything is true. I remember attending three graduations in my four years there. One of them was under the administration of a wonderful woman. Ms. Sheratt. She knew how to do things. Hardly ever did she mention scores or anything so silly. She only mentioned how she was proud of the graduating class. Under Janvier's Administration, I recall at the last graduation, all he mentioned was the high acceptance rate into UC Berkeley and all the really super duper high scores on AP tests and the SATs and STARs.
To quote a mangled Vonnegut: Why dont you take a flying fuck at the AP TESTS?!!!?!?
Anyways. I'll probably nod off during my graduation. With the entire brain trust standing there in yellow and white ceremonial robes. *scoff* What hideous colors. Even if they are the school colors... You can see right through the white robes and only the ladies wear them. The yellow robes are just an eyesore. Whatever happened to wearing only black robes like in colleges and other normal schools?
Before somebody blond attacks me for my inaccuracies about my school, I'd like to thank Mom and Pop, Miss Jami and my Uncle Ross for all they've done for me to get into UC Berkeley.
And now, the topper.
A Cal student and a Stanford student are both using the men's room.
When they finish their business, the Cal student heads for the door, while the
Stanford student heads for the sink. The Stanford students calls to the Cal student, "At
Stanford, they teach us to wash our hands after using the bathroom"
The Cal student replies nonchalantly, "At Cal, they teach us not to pee on our hands."
Do I?
PS
What's the difference between the fingers and the thumb?
An Ingersoll Moment
I quote:
"But," says the religionist, "you cannot explain everything; you cannot understand everything; and that which you cannot explain, that which you do not comprehend, is my God."
We are explaining more every day. We are understanding more every day; consequently your God is growing smaller every day.
Our ignorance is God; what we know is science.
-Robert Green Ingersoll (The Gods 1872)
May 13, 2007
Why?
I had arrived at my aunt's house for Mother's Day. I had given my mom a kick ass wooden lantern I stained and built the lid that day too. But Anywhoo... I had gotten up to the first landing of her Apartment, I took off my shoes and picked up the right one. Lo and behold, an ancient piece of gum that looks like it had been smash there was stuck. Right in the middle of the shoe. I'm very anal about these sort of things. I looked down and I just wanted to rip the little mother fu***** out. But it's disgusting. My asian side kicks in and says "NO! No touchie! Nasty, Dirty, Been in someone poor's mouth!" So to this very moment, the gum is still there and it's driving me bananas. I must figure out someway to pull it off. So the nice hexagon and triangle pattern on the bottom of my shoe has been ruined by someone's giant blob of gum. By someone who was too lazy to give a damn about someone else. Oh yes, I used to be one of them. Until the day I got a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of my chuck taylors the size of a miniature pumpkin. For that one, I took a rock from the neighbor's yard and just started hacking at the damn thing. But for this. I have no clue how to remove it. With all of modern man's advancements, i'd think at least we'd be able to remove gum from shoes. We put man on the moon, developed nuclear weapons, fought diseases, covered both poles, created artifical hearts. But we're still stuck with that damn little shitty piece of gum under our shoes. Oh how cruel life is.
The second event that really ticked my tocker was when I pulled out my Hurley shirt. You know, the two parentheses like this: )( The label on the inside of the shirt is impritnted on the shirt itself and already its coming off. Only after 5 wears and the stuff is coming off. Well, that's not the worst of it. But I pull out my shirt and I hold it in my hands and *horrendous music* A stain. But the worst of it is I dont know from what. That's the problem with wearing white clothing. You get these stupid fat person stains and these are kinda obvious. Right on my belly button. It looks like a damn map of Hawaii. Agrah. My one month old shirt. Ruined already!
So I gripe. And now, I shall go in search for a way to remove gum from shoes.
Why my posts suck
Also, the rise of ghetto idiots at my school has got me worried. More ghetto douche bags = less participants in music program. This year was a pretty good sizable orchestra. For once, three different saxophones as well as more than just Jose on Trombone. Of course, they're like wild animals too. Acting as student music director, I conduct when the director isint around, but no one can listen, and no one can play. Sometimes, I honestly believe everyone just remembers how to play the piece once. What they dont realize is that no every conductor has the exact same style. Just comparing Bernstein's and Ormandy's interpretation of Shostakovich's 5th symphony is simply in my words: amazing. Bernstein, a more fluid and flowey piece. Ormandy, slightly rigid, but slow, as a sort of emphasis on every note. To draw out meaning from everything.
I digress. Ghetto Idiots. That's all I ever post about. All my entire blog has ever been about is me blowing off steam in my frustration of idiots everywhere. I've got nothing worthwhile to say. Or do I? I dont know anymore. Its really getting confusing on what a blog should be. Some of the blogs I regularly check are just nothing more than showing cool things, rather than a personal post blog like Newnorth or Puntabulous. I really should read more than just that.
Answer to a blog comment question
May 10, 2007
I've come to terms
An open letter
I understand how you girls can do all this stuff and do multiple things at the same time, but its disgusting when you do what you were doing on the bus. Almost as annoying as the woman who would jerk her head about to mimic dancing, or concept of following rhythm. But what you did, talk on the phone and clip your nails, you take rudeness to a whole new level. Yeah, we get that you enjoy talking on your phone, but when you talk and clip your nails, its gross. I feel deep sorrow for the person who is on the line who has to listen to your fat assed voice and listen for the click click click of you leaving your DNA all over a brand new bus.
Advice to you, save that for home where it belongs.
The damn bus
May 06, 2007
The otherside
I didn’t expect her to come to me. There were plenty tables inside the café that day. How she even found me, I would never know. She pulled the worn wooden chair from under the table and placed her bag on it. She walked back to the counter to place her order. She left before I could get a good glimpse of her. Was it not customary to ask if the seat was taken first? How strange I thought. I folded up the newspaper neatly and placed it in the recycle bin and sat back down in my seat. My laptop was closed on the table, its bulky auxiliary batter sitting below it. Hesitating, I opened it and switched it on. Maybe she would go away if I looked busy at the computer. I pulled up a word document, and a spread sheet with several figures on it and set to work. Or at least make it look like work. She sat back down, with a large bowl sized cup of coffee. I peered over the top of the screen to get a good look of her without looking like a staring pervert. She was quite pretty. She had curly brown hair and these eyes that you could get lost in. They were like cat’s eyes marbles. I remember them quite well since I had a large bag of them as a child. I quickly shuffled back to work behind my wall. From the sides, I saw her hands working to un-kink a pair of headphones and an mp3 player from her purse. It seemed in the next ten minutes, she emptied the entire contents of her purse onto the table. A book, a small compact, a package of tissues, several hairclips and a wallet was set in the space on the small round table between the edge and my laptop front. I was tempted to fold down the screen to ask her if she needed to pull out the vanity as well. But I shook my head and buried myself in work again. She dropped the compact on the ground and I giggled. She turned around and looked at me. My cover was blown.
“Pardon?”
“Oh? Um… Nothing.”
“Yeah, sure. Nothing at all hm? That’s as likely as you doing any work behind that computer of yours.” When she said that, I choked a little on my spit. I laughed rather clumsily and tried to look busy. But she stood and walked over to my side and looked down at the screen. “Ha. Work you say. Its just a web page you know.” I looked back at the screen in horror. She was right. I had left a firefox page up showing nothing but college football scores.
“Well, it looks like you blew my cover.” I said.
“That may be so, but could you…” Her hand indicated at the compact still on the floor.
“Oh. How careless of me.” I bent over to grab the small thing. “You women and your makeup.”
“You men and your football.”
“You got me there.”
“My name’s Susan.”
“Ah, that’s a pretty name. I’m Greg. Greg Keely.”
“Keely eh? That’s a funny name.”
“Yeah, then what’s yours hm?”
“Um… well, I don’t tell most strangers.”
“I told you mine. And you know I’m Greg. Greg Keely.”
“Well ok Mr. Greg Greg Keely. My last name is McKim-Vadillo.”
“And you say my last name is funny.”
“Mine’s just long. Yours sounds funny.”
“Fine. I’ll bite.” She sat down in her chair. “I got the last name from my father, and he got it from his grandfather. But that’s about it. Before that, we were the Dundermans.”
“Dundermans?” She laughed. Her curls bounced as she did. “I’m glad you name is Keely.”
“Nope, it’s Greg.”
“Oh yes. So what do you do then?”
What could I say? I was unemployed just a week ago and now I’m working as a part time autoshop teacher as well as a Swedish teacher at
“It cant be that hard. Watch me. I am a cashier at Durant-Paulson Books. I love the work. I’m surrounded by books there and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Ok, you make it seem so easy. I’ll try then.” I cleared my throat and tried to look as professional as I could. “I teach Swedish at Balboa.” Those words came out rather rushed and to me, they sounded like I had inhaled a tank of helium.
“Swedish eh? That’s… that’s… well um…”
“Stupid isn’t it?”
“No, no, no. I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Well I think it is. Most of the kids don’t really pick it up at all. I end up with most of the bad kids and the few genuine kids who would want to learn such a language.”
“I’m sure I would have taken it.”
“Oh? Why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because I know you’re the cute teacher teaching it.”
“Oh stop. I’m not that handsome. My last two girlfriends left me for that reason. I guess I’m not used to being called… handsome.”
“Those two wouldn’t know their ass from their elbow.”
Our conversation dragged for a few more hours and the streetlights outside in the squares were bright. We talked about everything from Faulkner to Hemingway. I showed her my frayed copy of The Sound and the Fury my mother had given me when I graduated from High School. The cloth cover was worn out and you couldn’t make out the name without getting close to the cover. It was 8:55 pm by now and I forgot I had to arrive at school early to help out with the entrance exams tomorrow. We stepped out into the open
May 05, 2007
An old spontaneous story
You go up to him, you arent nervous. He spots you and cant help but smile. He moves his curly hair out of his face and glasses and offers you a seat. You move first by asking "watcha readin'?" He chuckles and can only say one word. "Faulkner".
Just the name Faulkner brings a mystique about him. He sets the book down and pulls out another book. The Grapes of Wrath. He certainly likes his classics you think. He apologizes for himself and explains he's a high school english teacher. He doesn't conform to the reading schedules schools provide for him and encourages everyone in his classes to read as much as possible.
You cant help it. You're pretty much glued to the wooden bench next to him. He sees you squirm a little and apologizes again. This time and offers you a pillow. You take it and blush. The thin wiry girl behind the stained counter calls you out. "Order up!" she cries. You flush with a little embarrassment and grab your coffee and sit back down next to your new stranger. Your eyes shoot daggers at the coffee lady. Her multiple piercings flash you with reflections from the old ceiling lamps.
He chuckles and puts the books away. You and him talk for hours on end about everything. The little nit picky details of F. Scott Fitzgerald's writing, or the beauty and simplicity of Hemingway. He notices its late now. You've lost complete track of time. Outside in Washington square, the lights are on and the cathedral is illuminated a brilliant white. He offers you his arm and to take you to your apartment. You tell him, you're an outsider. Not a San Franciscan.
What made him jump in shock, you'll never know. But he stays anyways. Waiting for the bus under the kiosk, the cold night air whips both of you. The bus is here. The electric arms clatter against the wires. You sit in back staring through the back portal and he's still there. The jolt of the starting bus rocks everything and everyone on board. A bag of fruit spills over. An old chinese woman stoops to pick them up. You help her. You look back up through the portal. He's gone. But you dont realize it, his Faulkner is in your hands.
May 01, 2007
Fit of Boredom
April 29, 2007
Hats rule! Naw, just rules
GARY WARTH, Staff Writer
North County Times
Escondido, California
Hats are surprisingly complicated things.
They keep their wearers warm in the winter and cool in the summer, and sometimes function strictly as fashion accessories. But they also come with etiquette so complex that people have to consult guides just to wear them.
No other article of clothing must be donned, tipped or shed depending on the time of day, the type of event attended, whether the National Anthem is being played or whether a woman is present.
Sometimes hats are removed in elevators, sometimes they aren't. Men must take off their hats during the National Anthem, but women don't. Or do they?
There was a time when almost everyone knew these rules, but ever since hats fell out of fashion about 40 years ago, entire generations have come of age with little understanding of proper topper protocol.
More casual rules are followed today, sometimes appalling older people who remember traditional customs. So if you're donning an Easter bonnet today, it couldn't hurt to know some of the rules.
Respectful, but flirtatious
"It used to be very much an act of courtesy and respect to remove your hat," said Rancho Santa Fe resident Susan Witt, who teaches international protocol at San Diego State University. "It was kind of a flourish when a man removed a hat to show courtesy to a woman. It was a way of flirting. I think if men realized how handsome they looked when they wear a hat, they'd make a comeback."
Men aren't expected anymore to tip their hats in passing to women, but they are expected to remove them during the National Anthem. But are women required to do so?
"If it's a formal hat, even during the National Anthem, a woman would not remove her hat," Witt said.
Not everybody understand that rule, however, and some people take offense when a woman leaves her hat on. In those cases, Witt suggests it is better to set protocol aside for civility and harmony. "Sometimes it's better to succumb to the moment," she said.
Why are there different rules for men and women? Nationally syndicated columnist Miss Manners suspects it may have to do with the dramatically different styles of men's and women's hats.
Men's hats are easily removed, but women's hats with ribbons, bows, flowers and other decorations can be quite a production to remove, especially if they're anchored with hat pins.
Fair enough, but what if the woman and man are both wearing baseball caps? Does it make sense that only the man takes off his headgear during the National Anthem? Probably not, Miss Manners suggests. Without the traditional ladies' hat, she wrote, "you cannot claim the ladies' exemption."
Readers also have asked Miss Manners whether women are required to wear hats indoors and outdoors during the day, a question that once would have been obvious, according to Miss Manners.
"Ladies properly keep their hats on indoors, everywhere except their own houses, during the day," she writes. "Luncheons even traditionally required ladies to wear hats."
Miss Manners recognizes that some rules vary peculiarly. It is acceptable for Christian women to wear hats in church, but disrespectful for men to wear them. Not so with Conservative or Orthodox Jews, who would find it disrespectful for men not to cover their heads with a yarmulke when in a synagogue.
New generation, new rules
Escondido resident Jim Butkis, 59, always wears one of his 70 hats when going out and says he never has a problem remembering the rules.
"I instinctively follow it," he said about hat etiquette. "It wouldn't occur to me to wear a hat inside. It always surprises me when I see someone wearing a baseball cap in a relatively good restaurant."
Eric Leiser of San Diego, 20 and an employee at Villagehatshop.com, loves wearing classic hats, but he doesn't see much sense in following rules he sees as archaic.
"I go to church and I get these looks, and I don't think it's imagined," he said. "That's a little weird, because it's 2002.
"I get a little uncomfortable, and sometimes I'll take the hat off and sometimes I won't." Leiser said he won't wear a hat if he goes to other churches because he's wary of how people might react, however.
"I wouldn't wear it on a first date," Leiser said. "I wouldn't take it off in a restaurant, but maybe if it's at the Ritz Hotel, I would."
Not everybody is as lenient about hat etiquette. Leiser said his father, an accountant who works in Escondido, has told him he would not even wear a hat on casual Fridays.
There is one piece of hat etiquette Leiser still finds useful.
"A lot of times if I meet somebody, I'll do this because it's cool," he said, touching the brim of his gray fedora-like hat.
Classic rules
For people who want to brush up on etiquette before going out with a hat, numerous books and Web sites are available.
Advice from such etiquette sages as Amy Vanderbilt and Emily Post: Post is quoted as saying in 1959: "It is impossible for a hatless woman to be chic." She added that it is incorrect to wear a hat with an evening dress, however.
Hats can be worn to theaters or concerts, but people should remove them if they are blocking anyone's view.
Hat-wearers must be careful when putting something on the hatband, by the way. Anything put on the band of a man's hat must be on the left side, and anything on a woman's hatband must be on the right.
Amy Vanderbilt gave women the choice about whether to wear hats to outdoor parties and weddings in her 1963 "New Complete Book of Etiquette." Women should keep their hats on in homes holding christenings, weddings and funerals, because in those occasions the house is treated as if it were a house of worship, she said.
Women should not remove hats that go with dinner suits or dinner dresses throughout the evening. Miss Manners notes that daytime hats must be doffed at dusk.
If that is confusing, consider the rules Emily Post lays out for men who encounter women in elevators. A gentleman must take off his hat when a woman enters an elevator in an apartment building or a hotel, as those are considered dwellings. He puts it on again in the hall, because a public corridor is like a street. In public buildings, however, the elevator is also considered public, and the hat can stay on.
In Post's "Etiquette: The Blue Book of Social Usage" from 1959, she wrote that men tip or lift their hat only to strangers, not to friends, although a man would lift the hat if he encountered his wife. A hat also is tipped to a woman when passing in a narrow space or when the man speaks to her. If a man runs into a female acquaintance, he must take his hat off when talking to her, but can put it back on if they start walking.
Butkis said he remembers his grandfather had one big rule about tipping hats: Just don't do it to men.
"If you look at some of the old, old cowboy movies, like Tom Mix, if they'd really want to insult somebody, they'd tip their hat at them," he said. "My grandfather would say it's akin to calling them a woman."
One open letter
I have a sensible hat. It keeps the sun out of my eyes, it dont get bogged down with heat like a wool cap would. It doesn't give me silly looking hat hair like you beanie folks. And yet you smirk. With your sweaty gloriousness and your funny looking hair. You smirk cause I dress differently. Because I try to pull back a little nostalgia into our lives. Posh tosh. You dont care. You dress exactly the same everyday. T shirt to the knees, Pants down to the backs of your kneees, a pair of boxers and two pairs of basketball shorts. Gotta have that close cropped hair with your two tone stripe and your name engraved in the back of your hair. You look at yourself in the mirror and you look at yourself good. Who's the funny looking one now? The kid who sports the fashion which has been around for decades? Or that new humbly jumbly stuff involving sweatshirts with random ugly designs and tshirts with tin foil stuck to it? Yeah, you look like a bum I saw once in Oakland. I swear to god the thing was wearing a bright orange, purple and green jacket and tinfoil pants. Lord knows you look just like them.
Zach
Surviving Fog
Sure, the whites pretty much dominated, but at this day and age, i'm sure we all can agree that a caste system is in good due order. As my punctuation. I may be racist, but i'm all for isolating the ghetto continuation people. Somehow, rappers show that not being musically inclined is somehow being musical and also being ghetto means a great life! What a load of bull honkey. In the 13 years of being a musician, I was trained to be understanding, educated, and to read music. Sure I didnt learn, but a good ear can help. If you ask any rapper to do a piece in compound meter, they'd just tell you to get the f*** out of their face before they pop a cap in yo' ass. They're just covering up the fact that they dont know jack.
On prom now. Every prom i've been to has involved two things, rap music and fuck dancing. My school seriously has killed social dances for me. In its entirety. I cant stand rap, you cant dance to it without looking like you're in the middle of sexual intercourse. Is that what school is trying to promote? Having sex while listening to music where every other word is damn, bitch, ho or fuck? If I had the option, I wouldn't go to these things. But I know, the key to a healthy life is a healthy relationship with people. Even if it means looking like an ass while dancing like an ass to music that sounds like it came out of an ass's ass.
I mean seriously, if you look at the senior demographic of my school. I would say about 24% acts ghetto, 40% acts normal, 20 percent is into indie and rock, 10 percent loves heavy metal and punk, 5 percent is emo and 1 percent is totally unsociable. So if only about 24 percent listens to rap, enjoys rap and whatnot, that's not a majority is it hm? And yet, they have complete dominance at proms and dances where everything is "buttfuck bizitches all night long. yo yo yo"
Graaah
Lately... some notes
- I admit it. I dont give a damn about proper nouns and capitals when it comes to myspace, facebook, AIM, MSN and whatnot. I decided apparently subconsciously, to give up all hope of correct grammar and spelling.
- I buy too many hats. In the past month, I've already bought two new hats. The new era fitted cap from Quicksilver and the YoungAn panama hat. I like the panama, but it's slightly damaged. But it looks very good on me.
- I havent been posting as much. Yes I know. Last month was an awesome posting month since I tried to compete with the number of posts to what day of the month it was. This month, a mere piddly single digit number.
- Unless I decide to crank out 10 posts tonight and tomorrow.
- I am going to Cal. UC Berkeley baby. I just got my calmail today too.
- I found a mattress on the ground in SF today. I was tempted to jump on it.
- Last week, I actually paid for *cough* you know. That stuff. On the internet. To watch. Yeah... Well I feel awkward now. Like there's nothing else to do at night.
April 23, 2007
Scholarship Clamitic Canundrum!
Pick myself up, dust myself off
1. I visited my two final college choices. Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. It was damned nice and I was on the verge of going there.
2. I visited Cal after that. I then decided to go to Cal.
3. I'm still confused on where to go (at that point)
4. I packed and left for NYC!
5. I came home. Didnt do any homework.
6. New compooper. Lost my old bookmarks
7. Paid for online book services for the first time. (blah)
8. Registered to attend cal
9 Still havent rejected CP
April 05, 2007
Batquotes
Robin: "Let's go!"
Batman: "Not you, Robin. They have strict licensing laws in this country. A boy of your age is not allowed in a drinking tavern."
Dick Grayson: "What's so important about Chopin?"
Bruce Wayne: "All music is important, Dick. It's the universal language. One of our best hopes for the eventual realization of the brotherhood of man."
Dick Grayson: "Gosh Bruce, yes, you're right. I'll practice harder from now on."
Robin: "You can't get away from Batman that easy!"
Batman: "Easily."
Robin: "Easily."
Batman: "Good grammar is essential, Robin."
Robin: "Thank you."
Batman: "You're welcome."
Batman: "Better put 5 cents in the meter."
Robin: "No policeman's going to give the Batmobile a ticket."
Batman: "This money goes to building better roads. We all must do our part."
Robin: "Boy! That was our closest call ever! I have to admit that I was pretty scared!"
Batman: "I wasn't scared in the least."
Robin: "Not at all?"
Batman: "Haven't you noticed how we always escape the vicious ensnarements of our enemies?"
Robin: "Yeah, because we're smarter than they are!"
Batman: "I like to think it's because our hearts are pure."
Robin: "Holy molars! Am I ever glad I take good care of my teeth!"
Batman: "True. You owe your life to dental hygiene."
Bruce: "Yes, Dick, your bird calls are close to perfect. If more people practiced them, someday we might have a chance for real communication with our feathered friends."
Dick: "In that case I think I'll polish up my ruby-crowned kinglet and my rose-breasted yellow-tailed grouse-beak calls."
Dick: "Sorry, I'm not interested in dance lessons."
Bruce: "Wait a minute, Dick. The junior prom's coming up, isn't it?"
Dick: "Yes, but..."
Bruce: "Well, we don't want you to be a wallflower, do we? Dancing is an integral part of every young man's education."
Dick: "Gosh Bruce, you're right."
Batman to Robin: "When you get a little older, you'll see how easy it is to become lured by the female of the species."
Robin: "I guess you can never trust a woman."
Batman: "You've made a hasty generalization, Robin. It's a bad habit to get into."
Robin: "That's an impossible shot, Batman."
Batman: "That's a negative attitude, Robin."
Batman: "The green button will turn the car a la escarda o a la drecia."
Robin: "To the left or right. Threw in a little Spanish on me, huh, Batman?"
Batman: "One should always keep abreast of foreign tongues, Robin."
Dick: "Gosh, Economics is sure a dull subject."
Bruce: "Oh, you must be jesting, Dick. Economics dull? The glamour, the romance of commerce... Hmm. It's the very lifeblood of our country's society."
 |
Batman: "That's one trouble with dual identities, Robin. Dual responsibilities."
Batman: "In fact, Mr. Wayne is taking Mrs. Harriet Cooper, a devotee of Miss Glaze's, backstage before the performance to meet the dazzling star."
Robin: "While Dick Grayson, I suppose, stays home and works on his essay on glaciers?"
Batman: "Right again, Robin."
Robin: "To the batcave?"
Batman: "And up the batpoles."
Robin: "The batpoles?"
Batman: "Even crimefighters need their sleep, Robin."
Robin: "Picked up the seal pulsator yet, Batman?"
Batman: "We're still over land, Robin, and a seal is an aquatic, marine mammal."
Robin: "Gosh, yes, Batman, I forgot."
Robin: "Where'd you get a live fish, Batman?"
Batman: "The true crimefighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt, Robin."
Robin: "Batman, maybe I should stay home tonight. Homework, you know."
Batman: "I think you should acquire a taste for opera, Robin, as one does for poetry and olives."
Robin, to Carpet King: "You must be that gentleman I've read about. Aren't you a king or something?"
Batman: "Robin, England has no king now. England has a queen, and a great lady she is, too."
Robin: "Gosh, Batman, this camel grass juice is great."
Batman: "Beware of strong stimulants, Robin."
Batman: "Robin, the Constitution provides that a man is innocent until proven guilty. And the Constitution is the cornerstone of our great nation. We must abide by it."
Robin: "Gosh, when you put it that way..."
Batman: "Man-eating lilacs have no teeth, Robin. It's a process of ingestion through their tentacles."
Batman (after cracking a safe): "It's not difficult, if you have steady nerves and a good ear. Quality is destroyed by the tenor of criminal life."
Batman: "An older head can't be put on younger shoulders."
Robin: "Venus seemed like a nice girl in that costume."
Batman: "I suspect she is a nice girl down deep, but she's fallen in with bad companions. And who knows what her home life was like."
Batman: "Go back outside and calm the flower children."
Robin: "They'll mob me!"
Batman: "Groovy."
Batman: "You know your neosauruses well, Robin. Peanut butter sandwiches it is."
Batman: "Too many Bessarovian Cossacks around here, Robin. If I'd joined you in the fight, some of them may have been injured."
Robin, about Batgirl: "She's gone again! For once, Batman, let's follow her."
Batman: "No, Robin. With my head sticking out of this neosaurus costume, I might not appear like an ordinary, run of the mill crimefighter."
Bruce: "Just because we're traveling, I don't think that Dick should neglect his studies, so we brought along one thousand key works of literature, his biological specimens, and also his own desk."
Dick: "Yes, I expect to study hard."
Batman: "You're far from mod, Robin. And many hippies are older than you are."
Superintendent Watson: "Well, I think this calls for a cup of char at venerable Ireland Yard."
Robin: "Char?"
Batman: "Yes, Robin, a colloquialism for tea."
Catwoman: "Let noone say that Catwoman is not the best-dressed woman in the world."
Batman: "There are no fashion shows where you're going, Catwoman."
Robin: "And how could a feline feloness like you also be a fashion model?"
Batman: "Ah-ah. Give credit where credit is due, Robin. She may be evil, but she is attractive. You'll know more about that in a couple of years."
Robin: "If we close our eyes, we can't see anything."
Batman: "A sound observation, Robin."
Robin, about Catwoman: "Do you think she'll kill Batgirl?"
Batman: "Or worse, Robin. Or worse."
Batman: "Nobody wants war."
Robin: "Gee, Batman. Belgravia's such a small country. We'd beat them in a few hours."
Batman: "Yes, and then we'd have to support them for years."
Joker: "Let bygones be bygones. I'd like to shake hands with both of you. Can't we be friends?"
Robin: "I'd rather shake hands with a spitting cobra!"
Batman: "You're being cynical, Robin. To err is human, to forgive...divine."
Batman: "What took you so long, Batgirl?"
Batgirl: "Rush hour traffic, plus all the lights were against me. And you wouldn't want me to speed, would you?"
Robin: "Your good driving habits almost cost us our lives!"
Batman: "Rules are rules, Robin. But you do have a point."
Batman: "Cattail Lane and Nine Lives Alley. The Grimalkin Novelty Company is on that corner."
Robin: "Grimalkin? What kind of a name is that?"
Batman: "An obscure but nevertheless acceptable synonym for cat, Robin."
Robin, looking at Batgirl: "You know something, Batman?"
Batman: "What's that, Robin?"
Robin: "She looks very pretty when she's asleep."
Batman: "I thought you might eventually notice that. That single statement indicates to me the first oncoming thrust of manhood, old chum."
Robin: "Gosh, if I could just figure out that riddle. Why can't I get it?"
Batman: "Maybe your mind's on that cute little teenager who waved to you on the way across town, eh?"
Robin: "Awww, come on, Batman."
Dick: "Awww, heck! What's the use of learning French anyway?"
Bruce: "Dick, I'm surprised at you! Language is the key to world peace. If we all spoke each other's tongues, perhaps the scourge of war would be ended forever."
Dick: "Gosh, Bruce, yes. I'll get these darn verbs if they kill me!"
Robin: "What do we do, tip off Commissioner Gordon?"
Batman: "No, not on your life, old man. The Penguin and I have a score to settle."
Dick: "Wow! The rings of Saturn! This is sure some fun, Bruce."
Bruce: "Astronomy is more than mere fun, Dick."
Dick: "It is?"
Bruce: "Yes, it helps give us a sense of proportion. Reminds us how little we are, really. People tend to forget that sometimes."
Dick: "Gosh yes, that's right. I'll bet I see those rings a little differently this time!"
Robin: "Gosh, there could be diplomatic repercussions if we fail this time, Batman."
Batman: "That's not the point, Robin. What's important is that the world know that all visitors to these teeming shores are safe, be they peasant or king."
Robin: "Gee, Batman, I never thought of that. You're right."
Batman: "It's the very essence of our democracy."
Batman to Robin: "Stop fiddling with that atomic pile and come down here!"
Dick: "Gosh, botany is tough. I'll never learn to recognize all these trees!"
Bruce: "Come come, Dick. Pine. Elm. Hickory, chestnut, maple. Part of our heritage is the lure of living things, the storybook of nature."
Dick: "That's true, Bruce. I'll learn to read that book of nature yet!"
Batman: "Robin, you haven't fastened your safety bat-belt."
Robin: "We're only going a couple of blocks."
Batman: "It won't be long until you are old enough to get a driver's license, Robin, and you'll be able to drive the Batmobile and other vehicles. Remember, motorist safety."
Robin: "Gosh, Batman, when you put it that way.."
Bruce: "When we have more time, I'll acquaint you with the various processes of sculptoring. It's a fascinating art to which I devoted many hours of study."
Dick: "I sure would like to hear about it, Bruce."
Batman (during a bat-climb): "Careful, Robin. Both hands on the Bat-rope."
Robin: "Sorry, Batman."
Robin (about Lydia Limpet): "Gosh, Batman, those look like honest eyes."
Batman: "Never trust the old chestnut, 'Crooks have beady little eyes'. It's false."
Robin: "When we put the fake jewels in Miss Starr's safe and take the real ones out, we could be nailed as crooks."
Batman: "That's a chance we have to take, Robin. In our well ordered society, protection of private property is essential."
Robin: "Yes, you're right, Batman. That's the keystone to all law and order."
Dick Grayson: "I thought Lima was the capital of Equador."
Bruce Wayne: "As you can see, I was right. It's the capital of Peru."
Aunt Harriet: "Oh, I just love this game of capitals. It's just so educational!"
Bruce: "Not only that, if we don't know all about our friends to the south, how can we can carry out our good neighbor policy?"
Bruce: "Most Americans don't realize what we owe to the ancient Incas. Very few appreciate they gave us the white potato and many varieties of Indian corn."
Dick: "Now whenever I eat mashed potatos, I for one will think of the Incas."
Dick (working on a jigsaw puzzle): "It's so much harder with the pieces upside down."
Bruce: "Of course. Think of what excellent training it is for your visual memory."
Dick: "Gosh yes, I guess that's true."
(in Batmobile, on golf course)
Robin: "Let's get going and make an emergency bat-turn!"
Batman: "Not this time, old chum. Have to think of the golfers. The retro-rockets would burn up the course for a hundred yards."
Batman: "Human mechanisms are made by human hands, Robin. None of them is infallible. It is a lesson that must be faced."
Batman: "That's life, Robin, full of ups and downs. It ill befits any of us to become to confident."
Batman (about to cross the street): "Remember Robin, always look both ways."
Robin: "It sure is a shame, Batman. A restaurant with such terrific chow turning out to be a mere front for some criminal scheme."
Batman: "Look at it this way, Robin. That $100 cover charge is pretty stiff. Penguin's 'terrific chow' is hardly within the budget of the average worker."
Robin: "Gosh yes, you're right, Batman. All the needy people in the world, all the hungry children."
Batman: "Good thinking, Robin."
Dick: "Gosh Bruce, Greek is still Greek to me."
Aunt Harriet: "It's Greek to a lot of Greeks too. It's one of the world's oldest, most important, most beautiful languages."
Dick: "It may be, Aunt Harriet, but can't we take a breather and work out in the gym for a while?"
Aunt Harriet: "But the mind needs excercise too, Dick."
Dick: "Well, my mind is getting muscle-bound."
Bruce: "Ahhh, there is an old saying, Dick. A sound mind and a sound body. A worthy goal."
Batman: "Ma Parker's girl is more dangerous than her three boys."
Robin: "Her legs sort of reminded me of Catwoman's."
Batman: "You're growing up, Robin. Remember, in crime-fighting always keep your sights raised."
Robin: "But what is it?"
Batman: "Saribus Sacer. A species of ancient Egyptian beetle, sacred to the Sun God, Hymeopolos. And from which the term scarab is derived. But, you should know that, Robin, if you are up on your studies of Egyptology."
Robin: "You're right."
Batman: "I know. Hieroglyphics self-taught are a chore, Robin; but, it is a surefire way to unravel the secrets of the ancient mystics."
Batman: "Experience teaches slowly, Robin. And at a cost of many mistakes."
Robin: "I am a little hungry."
Batman: "Of course, Robin. Even crime-fighters must eat. And especially you. You're a growing boy and you need your nutrition."
Batman: "Remember the Boy Scouts' motto."
Robin: "'Be prepared'."
Batman: "It would do well to keep that in mind at all times."
Robin: "We better hurry, Batman."
Batman: "Not too fast, Robin. In good bat-climbing as in good driving one must never sacrifice safety for speed."
Robin: "Right again, Batman."
Batman: "Tarnished reputations are unfortunate, Robin. We can live with those. However, a threat to all of Gotham City is something else."
Robin: "Self-control is sure tough sometimes, Batman!"
Batman: "All virtues are, old chum. Indeed, that's why they're virtues."
Robin: "How about rushing the place, Batman?"
Batman: "Shh. I think not, Robin. All they've done so far is stolen a few items, attempted to kill you, me, and Batgirl. No, I think they plan something really big."
Dick: "Bruce, let me ride Waynebow. I'm light enough."
Bruce: "No, Dick, I couldn't allow my own ward to ride my own thoroughbred. People might think it was funny."
Advice from Craigslist again...
2. Don’t hate women. It’s a waste of time
3. Invest in yourself. Material things come to those that have self actualized.
4. Get in a fistfight, even if you are going to lose.
5. As a former Marine, take it from me. Don’t join the military, unless you want to risk getting your balls blown off to secure other people’s economic or political interests.
6. If something has a direct benefit to an individual or a class of people, and a theoretical, abstract, or amorphous benefit to everybody else, realize that the proponent’s intentions are to benefit the former, not the latter, no matter what bullshit they try to feed you.
7. Don’t be a Republican. They are self-dealing crooks with no sense of honor or patriotism to their fellow citizens. If you must be a Republican, don’t be a “conservative.” They are whining, bitching, complaining, simple-minded self-righteous idiots who think they’re perpetual victims. Listen to talk radio for a while, you’ll see what I mean.
8. Don’t take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90% of all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient. Actually, the number is probably closer to 97%, but I don’t want to come off as cynical.
9. You’ll spend your entire life listening to people tell you how much you owe them. You don’t owe the vast majority of people shit.
10. Don’t undermine your fellow young men. Mentor the young men that come after you. Society recognizes that you have the potential to be the most power force in society. It scares them. Society does not find young men sympathetic. They are afraid of you, both individually and collectively. Law enforcement’s primary purpose is to suppress you.
11. As a young man, you’re on your own. Society divides and conquers. Unlike women who have advocates looking out for them (NOW, Women’s Study Departments, government, non-profit organizations, political advocacy groups) almost no one is looking out for you.
12. Young men provide the genius and muscle by which our society thrives. Look at the Silicone Valley. By in large, it was not old men or women that created the revolution we live. Realize that society steals your contributions, secures it with our intellectual property laws, and then takes credit and the rewards where none is due.
13. Know that few people have your best interests at heart. Your mother does. Your father probably does (if he stuck around). Your siblings are on your side. Everybody else worries about themselves.
14. Don’t be afraid to tell people to “Fuck off” when need be. It is an important skill to acquire. As they say, speak your piece, even if your voice shakes.
15. Acquire empathy, good interpersonal skills, and confidence. Learn to read body language and non-verbal communication. Don’t just concentrate on your vocational or technical skills, or you’ll find your wife fucking somebody else.
16. Keep fit.
17. Don’t speak ill of your wife/girlfriend. Back her up against the world, even if she’s wrong. She should know that you have her back. When she needs your help, give it. She should know that you’ll take her part.
18. Don’t cheat on your wife/girlfriend. If you must cheat, don’t humiliate her. Don’t risk having your transgressions come back to her or her friends. Don’t do it where you live. Don’t do it with people in your social circle. Don’t shit in your own back yard.
19. If your girlfriend doesn’t make you feel good about yourself and bring joy to your life, fire her. That’s what girlfriends are for.
20. Don’t bother with “emotional affairs.” They are just a vehicle for women to flirt and have someone make them feel good about themselves. That’s the part of a relationship they want. For you it is a lot of work and investment in time. If they are having an emotional affair with you, they’re probably fucking someone else.
21. Becoming a woman’s friend and confidant is not going to get you into an intimate relationship. If you haven’t gotten the girl within a reasonably short period of time, chances are you won’t ever get her. She’ll end up confiding to you about the sexual adventures she’s having with someone else.
22. Have and nurture friendships with women.
23. Realize that love is a numbers game. Guys fall in love easily. You’re going to see some girl and feel like you’ll die if you don’t get her. If she rejects you, move on to the next one. It’s her loss.
24. Don’t be an internet troll. Got out and live life. There is not a cadre of beautiful women advertising on Craigslist to have NSA sex with you. Beautiful women don’t need to advertise. The websites that advertise with attractive women’s photos and claims of loneliness are baloney. All they want is your money and your personal information so that they can market to you. The posts on Craigslist by young “women” seeking NSA sex, and asking for a picture are just a bunch of gay troll pic collectors. This is especially true if the post uses common gay lexicon like “hole” as in “fuck my hole” or seeks “masculine” men, or uses the word cock (except in the context of “Don’t send a cock shot.”) There are women on Craigslist. They are easily recognizable by their 2-5 paragraph postings. Most are in their 30's or older.
25. When you become a man in full, know that people will get in your way. People who are attracted to you will somehow manage to step in your path. Gay guys will give you “the look.” Old people will somehow stumble in front of you at the worst time. Don’t get frustrated. Just step aside and go about your business. Know that these are passive aggressive methods to get you to acknowledge their existence.
26. Don’t gay bash. Don’t mentally or physically abuse people because of who they are, or how they present themselves. It’s none of your business to try to intimidate people into conformity.
27. If your gay, admit it to yourself, your parents, your friends and society at large. Be prepared to get harassed. See rule 14. If someone threatens you or assaults you, call the cops. Have them arrested. You have no obligation to self sacrifice because of who you are. As a gay person, you’ll have more social freedom than straight men. Use it to protect yourself. Be prepared to get out of Dodge if your orientation makes your life unbearable. Move to San Francisco, New York, Atlanta, or New Orleans. You’ll find a welcoming community there.
28. Don’t be a poser. Avoid being one of those dudes who puts a surfboard on top of their car, but never surfs, or a dude with a powder coated fixed gear bike and a messenger bag, but was never a messenger. Live the life. Earn your bona fides.
29. Don’t believe the crap about the patriarchy. More women are accepted and attend college. More degrees are awarded to women than men. Women outlive men. More men commit suicide. Men are twice as likely to be victims of violence, including murder. If you consider sexual assaults in prisons, twice as many men are raped as women (society thinks prison rape is funny). The streets are littered with homeless men, sprinkled with a few homeless women. Statically, women are happier than men. The myth that girls are being cheated by are educational system is belied by the fact that schools are bastions of femininity, mostly run by and taught by women. Girls outperform boys in school. It is the boys in school getting fucked over, and prescribed ritalin for being boys. Real wages for men are falling, while real wages for women are rising. Just because someone says something enough times, doesn’t make it true. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
30. Remember, 97% of all advice is worthless. Take what you can use, and trash the rest.A
NY TRIP!
5 tshirts
1 white tshirt
Uniform and bag
Suit bag
Levis 549? or 527?
5 socks
5 boxers
Berkeley Sweatshirt
2 Button shirts
1 pair chucks
1 pair flipflops
bathroom stuff
Camera Charger
Cellphone charger
Wallet and ID
Datebook
Clarinet
Music
2 pairs of basketball shorts
Ushanka
Camera
Cellphone
Dress Shoes
Jacket (medium and waterproof)
April 02, 2007
ACCEPTANCE!
I'm a:
Golden Bear
Aardvark
Mustang
Bronco
Buccaneer or a
Elephant
What to decide...
March 26, 2007
Anything Encinal Does, Alameda does better
You only could imagine if Encinal tried to do Beauty and the Beast for their musical. You could imagine them dancing on stage holding a giant paper knife or fork. Unlike Alameda where its all glitz and glamor.
Ahh...
Filth News
Fart
March 21, 2007
The Low Down
I've been accepted at Four
Maritime
Fullerton
Cal Poly SLO
Cal Poly Pom
Denied by one
UC Davis
Still havent heard from two
UC Berkeley
UC Irvine
March 16, 2007
March 12, 2007
I Heart Weather
March 08, 2007
Guide to Surviving 10 minutes into the future
So you're from 10 minutes ago. How will you ever adapt and survive in the advance world of 1o minutes later? Understandably, you'll be sniggered at when you walk by with your 10 minute older razr. You're out of date! And now, you need to get with the know how.
1. Dont bother upgrading. You'll never catch up and "be with the times" as the oldies from 10 minutes ago say. You've bought a brand new Razor phone, and you were sucked into the vortex of 10 minutes and in that time you've passed, your phone has become as viable as a rock with numbers painted on it.
2. Use desperate people's technology. Chances are, they'll be constantly be in touch with every single new innovation in the computing world. So why buy for yourself? when you can Steal!
3. Consider the Amish way of Life. It may sound bad, but yeah.. it is bad. No computers or phones. Not even buttons for your coat. Life sucks if you're Amish.
4. Avoid joining a "anti technology" cult. You'll just end up having your head shaved, your clothes burned and selling jam from the side of a freeway to go to a camp in Utah to be with the supreme one. How we can swallow this crap (jam and the cult) is nothing short of a miracle for the intelligent. Secretly, you'll still have that cell phone or wireless card sewn into your stinky dirty robes.
5. Watch out for the cybergeeks. These guys will ridicule for using old technology. Espically the ones that have become obsolete in the time it took me to write this sentence (30 sec).
Stay tuned for more.
Reeds cost too much
The last thing of Mitchell Lurie premium french cane cut reeds I bought were only 8 or 10 dollars. Now, i'm paying another 3 dollars for these reeds. So 13 dollars for Mitchell Luries?! NO way. I have to find a new favorite brand now. I cant use them anymore...
March 07, 2007
Sad Truth
from: Cynical C
Our national media embarrassment was again on full display on Friday. Both MSNBC and Fox News devoted more coverage to Anna Nicole Smith — three weeks after her death on Feb. 8 — than they did to the multiple developments involving the neglect and deplorable conditions at Walter Reed military hospital.
The most lop-sided coverage by far was aired by Fox News, which featured only 10 references to Walter Reed compared to 121 of Anna Nicole — roughly 12 times the coverage. MSNBC featured 84 references to Walter Reed and 96 to Anna Nicole.
References to Anna Nicole and Walter Reed on cable networks on March 2:
| NETWORK | ANNA NICOLE | WALTER REED |
| FOX NEWS | 121 | 10 |
| MSNBC | 96 | 84 |
| CNN | 40 | 53 |
March 04, 2007
Acceptance
My rage against the machine: I take it back
It went from: www.blogger.com/home
to:
www2.blogger.com/home
So I guess it was my stubbornness to change the link. I didnt really think they'd go as far as to change the links like that.
Anger at the machine: Blogger
Before you say: Check your cookies, all cookies are enabled on my computer.
March 02, 2007
Guide to Surviving 10 minutes into the Future
Situation. You were walking down the street when all of a sudden, an instantaneous and 2 second vortex/worm hole sucks you in and deposits you 4 blocks away. You calculate where you are and have determined that you are *dramatic music* TEN MINUTES IN THE FUTURE!!!
1. Before all things, dont panic. Panic leads to nasty sweating and sweating means clammy clothes and handshakes. Before panicking, take a moment to freshen up in the nearest public toilet or water fountain.
2. Check your watch. If you really advanced 10 minutes into the future, chances are you watch will indicate that you have. If this is the case, and the minute hand has moved then you best drop your watch off at a watchmaker. The hands moving like that on its own while the crown was still down, you broke your watch in that damn worm hole.
3. Dont worry about what could have happened in those 10 minutes in between you were sucked in and most likely, you might have skipped or avoided something completely dangerous. Unless it was predetermined that you would fall in a tiger pit or something. But don't sweat that. Tigers hate sweat.
4. Dont use the phrase: "Hey! Long time no see!" This applies to people who have and haven't been sucked into the 10 minute worm hole. To the people who have, its not funny. You were only gone from other people's existence for 10 minutes. And for the people who were never sucked into the worm hole, dont say it none the less. It makes you sound stupid.
So that's the first guide to surviving 10 minutes into the future!
Two open letters today:
Beyond all physical doubt, you have singlehandedly made yourself apparent as the most loudest and annoying person ever. You're on the damn bus, no one else is talking, yet you talk as if you're sitting next to a hemi block engine on full rev. I made a failed attempt to increase the volume of my mp3 player while on the bus, but somehow, you managed to tune out the Rammestein song I was listening to. I applaud you and give you the finger at the same time. I just spent a stressful day at school, waiting to go to piano lessons and you and your friends just waltz right on and sit right behind me. I didnt take any notice, until you opened your mouth. Whenever you talked, you seem to manage to cause my ears to just vibrate violently I had the urge to stand up and yell at you to shut up, but I only could imagine what would happen. Lets see how well you'd do:
Question: If I were to suddenly to stand up in my seat and start yelling at you, what would you do?
A. Ignore me
B. Go: "Nu uh... you did not just dooo that!"
C. Ignore me because your piercing voice is causing all the windows to break simultaneously
If you guessed "B", thats what I was thinking too. But lucky for me, My stop was only two after where you got on. So from this point on, I heartily recommend wearing a gag at the same time, but I doubt it'd be much use since you gaping black hole of a mouth would just suck it down instantly and never be seen.
Yours,
Z
Dear Idiot who uses feet instead,
You are a moron. Did you know that? Or do I have to show you? When I followed you out of the library and to first period, I noticed you had just kicked the door of the library open with your feet. Also, I noticed you had your hands in that giant poofy jacket of yours. What, are your hands not designed for work? Are you saving them to show off in a rap video? Hm? Well let me bring you the harsh reality of what's to be.
1. Ditch the jacket, you're not fooling anyone with it
2. You have a low chance of ever becoming a musician or rap artist. If you can even call them artists...
3. Chances are, you spend more time listening to, and thinking about making beats. But you never do get round to it
4. If you actually do manage to get round to it, too bad, because I know you wont fork out the money to buy studio equipment, so my best guess would be that you just ripped music clips from other successful pieces of music.
5. By spending your money on shoes, you have invariably just cut off your head before going off to college. If you even go you moron.
"But wait, if I ditch that, i'm not cool. I'm not showing off my individuality." you may say.
Individuality my crack. You dress like every other two people I bump into or avoid at school. This so called individuality of yours means you just spend 100 dollars on a sweatshirt that you'll only wear on occasion cause it's your expensive threads and you only wear it on special occasions. Let me give you some news about how I dress. Granted, I like to wear nice things, but I wear those on special occasions, and they're meant for special occasions. Like it's intended in the title. SWEAT shirt. SWEAT SHIRT! Originally, hoodies were for people who used to train and run through the cold. But somehow, in the last 3 years, wearing a hooded shirt has become quote and quote formal. Has the world gone mad? Has fashion sense really been flushed down the toilet? Thank god for the metrosexuals, and the gay community. Oh also, the community with common sense. IE people who are normal. Also, who picked out your sweatshirt? Honestly, lime green with multicolored blobs which resemble racoons but are poorly drawn? Are you color blind? Or actually blind? So let me tell you straight from this point. If you ever hope to get anywhere, actually be an individual and not like every other "individual".
So here's the lay down in short words.
1. If you don't do as I say, you'll most likely end up serving my burgers from a little drive thru window at the Mickey D's at south shore.
2. If you dont find fast food service appealing, you can always be a mechanic. Sure you'll get to play with cars, but you'll always be fixing someone else's car and you'll never get to drive it except for backing it in and out of the auto shop. If I even let you.
3. If you dont like either of those two options, you always could become a gangster, count your bundle of hundred dollar bills (but you dont have any since you dont have a job and suck at rapping), with your fine looking ladies (but they wont cling on since you've spent more money on your car and clothes than on them) and lounge about on your mother's tiny porch in some smoggy LA suburb.
But I digress to the extreme. By using your feet, you create a loud noise of your 200 dollar useless shoes slamming the metal bars against the frame. You're in the school library. Libraries are quiet. So what's your intention of making noise? To be the biggest jackass there ever was? Well you won it! By the way, what's the matter with your hands hm? I'll only accept the following two responses: 1. I have no hands, or 2. My hands are paralyzed in that position. But it seems you had them in that stupid jacket of yours. Also, I admire your common courtesey. When you walked out, you had to avoid the door from closing on you. I dunno, I think its just rude to avoid doing work and causing others to jam up just to open the door. So Mr. Bigshot, F U
Yours,
Z
Annoyance at Myspace
Digression:
I overheard from one of my confidants that apparently, I was fingered by her older sister. Also, somehow she blabbed that I was dating someone else in band. Which isn't new. But if you're catching on now, woosh man... woosh. But I'm even more pissed at her now. God... I'd just... algha;lkh!L I dont know. I'm incapable of enacting evil destructive plans, but I can come up with some damn good ones...
Boneheaded Boo Boo
February 27, 2007
Muahaha! Being Right feels good. It does. Admit it
Another from the Best of CL
Bicycle Avenger- Hit&Run Drivers BEWARE!
Date: 2005-05-01, 10:50AM PDT
So the other day I am riding my bike down Valencia Street (don't so many aventures start this way...) and I see a nicely dressed middle aged Asian guy (lets call him Steve) get hit by a young, rather blank expressioned white lady driving an old beat up white toyota 2 door of some sort (lets name her Gretchen, I hate that name). She ran right into him as he was walking across the street in front of lost weekend video! I was all, "dude that sucks, whatever..." until I saw them talking, and Gretchen totally tries to screech away. Steve totally jumps in front of her car and is fuckin' fuming, banging on her hood and yelling "STOP STOP STOP", because she should totally get out, apologize, offer him her insurance information and so on. I am sure Steve was a nice guy, and wouldn't have sued, had she been reasonable and apologized, assuming he wasn't hurt, which based on his spazzing up and down all over her hood, he was not. END DIGRESSION:
So after Steve banging on her hood a bit, Gretchen totally tries to mow him down, with a swerve type manuever, then bangs a screeching (old crappy car, parts falling off) right turn on 22nd street. I saw the whole thing and its a clear case of right and wrong, so I spring into superhero mode.
Okay, I am not johnny do-gooder or anything, I ride critical mass, I fucking throw conceptual molitov coctails at the establishment, I piss on capitalism, I would never work (and never have) or a corporation, and I am a big advocate for a just, sacred and sustainable world. But, I consider myself to be chaotic good meaning I don't obey laws because of blind obedience, I only obey laws I agree with, because I happen to think I am a more moral person than most people who make laws. If the laws are wrong, fuck em. But when a law happens to agree with what I beleive true justice to be, I use the cops as a tool to make the world more like what I think it should be. That being said, I put in my hands-free headset on my cellphone and took after that crotchety bitch like a Golden Gate bike cop. I was on the phone with dispatch, but I was put on hold, and I didn't have her plate number.
She was driving around blocks, making short turns, weaving in and out of traffic, but I happen to know that a car goes just about as fast as a bike in this city, due to the timing of the traffic lights and all that. I drive a cab, and all day I see cyclists ripping past me, because they don't have to stop for lights, unless a cop is there. The whole time I am chasing her, I am going, don't go up hill, don't go up hill, but she hits all the major ones;
22nd and Guerrero to Church Street, up "hill" street, down towards Dolores park, up church towards market... UGHH!! I finally catch up to her at church and market because of the long light, and get her plate number, call the cops, and make sure they attach it to the right file on their computer. It was confirmed that there was a hit&run reported at that location, and that no one had gotten a liscense plate for the criminal. I did good, it is one of those rare times in which you are positive that you helped someone and that good triumphed over evil.
MORAL: There are too many hit and runs in San Francisco. I see it all the time driving a cab. I was hit by a drunk driver on my motorcycle, and she tried to get away, but her dumbass was in neutral when she slammed on the gas. I ran up to her shouting her liscense plate number, and only THEN did she get out and start pouring on the fake sympathy. I sued her ass off.
DO NOT DRIVE DRUNK, DO NOT HIT&RUN. THESE THINGS ARE WRONG AND DO NOT MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE. YOU WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH IT ON MY WATCH.
-Concerned Citizen
Hehe, 100 years ago
I'm sorry, I just feel like posting things from the Best of Craigslist SF
From the Craigslist Archives: 100 Years Ago.
Date: 2006-12-30, 2:09AM PST
Damnation! Cable Car Bells. Day and Evening - Clang! Clang! Clang!
I Paid $2 for a Lady of the Evening in the Barbary Coast. Was I Taken Advantage of?
W4M: Skinny Ladies - Abandon all Hope of Finding a Gentleman. Society Would Think We cannot Afford to Feed You.
RE: Cherokee, etc. ... You had no Less than Seven Spelling Errors in Your Missive.
Re: Damn Ferries! ... Bridges Traversing the Bay? That's a good one! You, Sir, are a Loon!
Progeny Persist in Playing Ragtime so Loudly on the Pianoforte that I cannot Concentrate on Reading Ovid.
Was Saturday Night Live as Funny Last Night as it was in 1871? I Think NOT.
RE: Stop Tapping Your Key so Hard ... I Shall TAP My Key as Hard as I Please.
To the Clerk at Trader Josephs
Secondhand Rum Fumes Kill Innocent Babies.
Re: Opium Den ... We Call it 530 here. The Coppers do not Know what that Means.
I Predict that in 100 Years We Shall all Respect & Love One Another & Stop this Petty Bickering
Youngsters Bundling without Chaperones! Do They Really do this??? Can it be Stopped???
Cherokee Savages Have the Smallest Male Members
Benjamin & Gerald Name Iced-Cream in Honor of John Philip Sousa
RE: My Electric is Off Again ... Cheapskate. Switch to Westinghouse. Expensive but Reliable.
Where Might a Visitor Find a Good 13 Course Dinner in the City?
Damn Ferries! In the Future We Shall Cross the Bay on Bridges and be Done with Them.
All Who Invested Their Savings in the Kinetescope Business are Fools
French Maids!!! Stereo-Opticon Cards. Twelve for $1.
Christopher Pennington, Esq., Invites All to His Home on Nob Hill for Coffee & Cakes on New Year's Day.
To the "Gentlemen" on Polk Street Who Scared My Horses. Pull Up Your Pants!!!
RE: Re: Krauts, etc., etc., ... and the Pollacks!
Next Summer's Bathing Costumes are Scandalous.
Would a Kind Member of the CL Community Please Direct Me to a Respectable Opium Den?
Anarchist Rally this Weekend. Time & Place Unknown. BYOB.
Re: Krauts, etc. ... You Forgot the Chinks, Spics and Jews.
A Teaspoon or Two of Laudanum Helps Children Sleep.
I Wish to Punch a Drinker of Demon Rum Right in the Face.
Gain 50 Pounds in 50 Days. You Need not Look Like a Starving Peasant. All New - Pure Lard Diet!
Re: For the Boys - Ankle Flash ... YOU WILL BURN IN HELLFIRE ETERNAL FOR POSTING THAT!!
English Building Unsinkable Ship. USA Lags in Technology.
My Electric is Off Again. Edison Will Not Answer His Telephone.
Stop Tapping Your Key so Hard. It is the Equivalent of Shouting.
M4W: Honest Farmer 65 Seeks Healthy Wife 18 to Bear Children, Pull Plow, Cook
To the Surrey (with the fringe on top) that Splashed Me with Mud on Third Street
Rapscallions, Pull Up You Pants!
KKK Cross Burning Tonight. Good Family Fun.
Roosevelt More Evil than the Kaiser. I am Ashamed of My Country.
For the Boys - Ankle Flash
Krauts, Micks, Wops: the downfall of America.