July 22, 2008


Bars are no place for a minor. Especially one that's 12 years old. But that's the way kids are growing up nowadays. When I was a kid, that age, western civilization was just entering the year 2000. I was fucking scared of the apocalypse if Y2K was actually real. The only thing I was worried about was having to learn how to play guitar by candlelight. But the more I think about it, the more there needs to be a recession back into the dark, pitch black world of 150 years ago. There was a boom in industry, civilizations and countries could literally stand on their own. The threat of war always teetered, and there were big binds in social strata.

We call this a better time. For one thing, it is, but there's only so much now. Chemical warfare, genocide, automatic weapons, terrorism and political ideology. I think about it and I just go sick in the stomach. You may say: hey, there's really good things about life. Like Penicillin, civil rights, really really cheap charles Shaw wine. Yes, those are good things, but at what cost? There's now an even more resilliant bacteria that penicillin is ineffective to, there are dirty, old washed out hippies still fighting for civil rights, even though it was administered nearly forty years ago and the whole of Napa valley has in effect, been turned into a grape growing region, rather than the fertile fruit orchards and plantations it used to be.

When we get an idea, as Americans, we just capitalize on it. This hamburger is delicious. I will open another store, and another and another that sells it. Wow, we can grow grapes in Napa. Lets get rid of fruit and everything else. The diesel goes faster than the steam train. Lets scrap all steam trains and focus on the future. At what point does the future happen? It never can. We progress into the future, but we can never get there. Because once we reach that age where we're in shiny pants and floating cars, that would be the present and there would be yet another future to try and get to.

So I digress. Kids are growing up way too fast. They're looking forward to too many of the things you could do as adults. I for one am looking forward to the day I turn 21. But thats cause I'm 19. There's no reason for me not to yearn for a year to pass. But have you seen kids these days? They dress like 22 year old rappers. They much rather have sex than just hang out and ride bikes. I walked by my old middle school alma mata. I heard more cuss words than a rap album has. Fuck, there's not avoiding it now is there? I can sit on the local bus at closing hours of school and I hear talk of parties, potheads, beer and shit. That's stuff you dont want to hear coming out of some snot faced, brattish 16 year old.

Have you seen some of the girls around high schools? Yikes. I swear, the material from their clothes is being put into the clothing for boys. The baggier boys get, the skankier girls will get. A parka is a coat designed to keep your upper chest, and thighs warm. Not just your breasts. Then again, why would you wear a full length parka in the middle of summer? I get it, you're dysfunctional. Spending your year's coat money on something that's only ideal for summer. Fucking genius.

Kids dont dress the way they used to. People for one dont dress the way they used to. There's a slight trend going back to the way we used to live, but I can only assume when we'll be at the fullest point. There in essential are the three branches of the way we dress nowadays. Hipster, Hip Hopster, and everything else. A fourth branch exists called: Absurd. I hate trends.

Hipster: You can easily recgonize one. Do they wear clothes that are ill fitting? Do their clothes look like they were made back in the 70s but in reality were made two weeks ago by a chinese girl? Do they seem to wear really tight jeans, wear large framed sunglasses with bright plastic frames? Are they riding on a fixed gear bicycle with a narrow handle bar? Are they wearing a keffiyeh? if you answered yes to this, then you've got a hipster. Well educated, upper middle class kids with nothing better to do than to spend time away from their boring parents. They're seen with large shaggy haircuts and usually sport a beard (both sexes) and females are usually spotted in bland looking single colored clothes and bright leg spandex.

Hip Hopster: Found usually wearing street clothes like baggy jeans large enough for John Goodman's entire person to fit into just one leg, a tshirt so large, it could cover a car, a new-era hat that has been kept in pristine condition, shoes that are large for their unwieldy feet and a poor grasp of the english language. Yes, they multiplied after the big hip hop movement in the 90s and in the 2000s, their clothing style advanced with even baggier pants and baggier tshirts and baggier hoodies and baggier bags. They're usually spotted smoking a gross swisher, have an inability to grow a full face of hair and have close cropped haircuts.

Everyone Else: You wear a collared shirt, jeans and you're good to go. You might occasionally dabble in the other two, but this is basically how you dress. You wear a tshirt on lazy days and a shirt with stripes for formal occasions. That's the jist of it.

Absurd: You wear a purple thong and white botty shorts. You wear shoes that a clown would wear and have just really rancid looking stains on your jacket. You dont even try to make yourself look presentable.

Personal Notices:

Bri: I miss you. I'm still counting down the days. I've counted myself out and I wish I could use just my fingers to do so. I want to imagine and then live out the day you're back here (on the right side of California)

Sally: You still have yet to call again. You're getting lax about coming in earlier.

Sara: Yay!


bdub said...

scarves are fun. :)

somebody BLONDE!! said...

yes dear I'm sorry I'm staying up WAAAAY too late doing homework for the damn class…

you know, I don't think you ever complained about me knowing about all that stuff when I was 15…