March 02, 2007

Guide to Surviving 10 minutes into the Future

I wanted to do something like puntabulous, so instead of going far into the future, we'll divulge into the very possibility of appearing in the next 10 minutes

Situation. You were walking down the street when all of a sudden, an instantaneous and 2 second vortex/worm hole sucks you in and deposits you 4 blocks away. You calculate where you are and have determined that you are *dramatic music* TEN MINUTES IN THE FUTURE!!!

1. Before all things, dont panic. Panic leads to nasty sweating and sweating means clammy clothes and handshakes. Before panicking, take a moment to freshen up in the nearest public toilet or water fountain.

2. Check your watch. If you really advanced 10 minutes into the future, chances are you watch will indicate that you have. If this is the case, and the minute hand has moved then you best drop your watch off at a watchmaker. The hands moving like that on its own while the crown was still down, you broke your watch in that damn worm hole.

3. Dont worry about what could have happened in those 10 minutes in between you were sucked in and most likely, you might have skipped or avoided something completely dangerous. Unless it was predetermined that you would fall in a tiger pit or something. But don't sweat that. Tigers hate sweat.

4. Dont use the phrase: "Hey! Long time no see!" This applies to people who have and haven't been sucked into the 10 minute worm hole. To the people who have, its not funny. You were only gone from other people's existence for 10 minutes. And for the people who were never sucked into the worm hole, dont say it none the less. It makes you sound stupid.

So that's the first guide to surviving 10 minutes into the future!

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