November 23, 2006

No help

So i'm writing one of my personal statements. I'm really behind with these things and my mom walks in and starts reading it. You know how some people are rather touchy about what they write and when to "showcase" it. Well, she started critizing it. Calling me wishy washy and unsure. She has no faith in me. Its annoying. I dont know the right words to use and she's saying all this stuff about how I cant do this or that's stupid or how she's never heard of this or that. I want to build guitars in later life with a friend. Open up a small business, be happy. But no, all she sees is push push push. I bet she doesnt even know what I want to be. I want to take full advantage of an acoustic career. Understanding how sound travels through this or that. Or how it passes through this and that. Not standing at the recieving end of a stream of harsh words. It doesnt help. Its always yelling when it comes to helping me.

"How should I write this?"
"go do you essay"

"I wanna do something involved with engineering and sound"
"that's stupid. never heard of it"

It makes me so frustrated when i'm trying to write and she's there breathing down my neck. She's expecting me to write some perfect paper like Jasmine or something. I'm not her mother. I'm not that trophy child you're expecting to raise. Give over. I wanna grow up, make a decent living of myself, maybe get married, have a nice little family and buy a house someday. I dont want to be some millionaire like you expect. But I might be harsh on her. Sure she's been some help in terms of giving my essay to other people to look at. But other than that, I think for now, all I can remember is yelling.

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